Thank you for the best teachers' day I've ever experienced.

I love SACPS & the unchanged. Will try to get pictures soon!

Going back was, well, such a nostalgic experience. Stepping back into the school which I've grown up in for six whole years was indescribable. The familiar facade of the SAC, the familiar people who still remembered my name after almost three years. The Primary Fives, who've grown from crying little Primary Twos when I last saw them.

Although the school had some modifications, the Cannossian Spirit is still there. That's what I like about my primary school. The environment which we all studied in was so conducive. They used to give us badges which read " You are special" and similiar things. I might have overlooked it when I was younger, but I realise it does make a difference now that I'm older.

Going back was like relieving my past, because it is this school that I was molded to be who I am today. I remembered so much of my past, how people used to know me because I was a prefect. The things I enjoyed to do, like play catching and all. The innocence of my childhood. The development of leadership. Entepreneurship ( I used to sell erasers when I was in Primary Two). Talking to the teacher who had forced our class to strive for excellence, the teacher who cared, I remembered so much more. Mrs C Tan says, "You are intelligent, but lazy". Indeed. The importance of ties was spoken about by my Primary Five Chinese teacher, who still remembers my name in full. Amazing.

The food in my school - How I would savour the chicken rice. I used to sit down with Sarah Leong and Sarah Gopal and gobble up the chicken rice, which I still consider as my favourite throughout Singapore. I bought two plates that day, and had that for lunch.

The field - Where my class, the pioneer class of SAC soccer-playing would run around, with a few ones spending our recesses kicking a ball around. It was our field, it was our place, it was our culture. Nicole or someone remarked how Yasmin used to eat grass there. It was a whole class affair, the soccer games.

Well, less than a quarter turned up. There was Sue-Ean, Calida, Nicole, Chui Ying, Grace, Dawn, Edelweiss and Yan Wei. I was never really close to these people. Well, maybe Dawn when she sat beside me or something, and Edelweiss, who I still talked to on random occasions. But we were able to talk, as if time had stopped and we were brought back to the past. Changes there might be, but there's still the part of each of us that belongs to 6AL, and will always belong.

There comes a point in time where you just scream and say that's it and throw in the towel. Going to stop editing Bio EU now. Question 1, I realised was actually in a horrible and disorganised state at first. I should learn to stop being a perfectionist. But then again, it's my love for Bio which drives me on.

I broke down twice today. Off to continue writing cards now.. Doubt I'll get any sleep. (and if you're wondering how come I have time to blog, it only takes less than 5 mins to type out something this length)

So I thought I could handle an event properly. Well I'm proved wrong. So much for my uptopian visions: young kid runs big event. Due to all the unforeseen circumstances. Hoping there are no screw-ups tomorrow that reflect badly on us - when it's not even our fault. Stressed. Thanks again especially to Yueyang, who I am going to give a wake up call to tomorrow and take the same bus with. Yay for his weird calming down exercises and "land of coconuts".

I want to make Teachers' Day a success to repay all the effort the teachers have put in. And I'd only do this for VJ teachers. I think they're a wonderful bunch! And if I have to stay up the whole night to write something for them, I wouldn't mind. They've given me far more than I can give them in a note.

Sai Kang Warrior mood strikes again. I feel quite unappreciated sometimes. Not about PA or what, but other things.

Thank you Yueyang and Jun Jin for your support and whatever you said to me today. I would have freaked out if not for the two of you.

I have to complete:
Lit Essay
Chem Noticeboard Challenge
Higher Chinese homework
Biology EU

By tomorrow. It's sleep late time. I still gotta make the teachers day notes and presents. I wish that teachers would just not load us with work so that we will have time to make something nice for them. I was banking on today to do that.

Looks like I will have about 3 hours of sleep. I have to leave the house at about 610 tomorrow, for I have to be in school at 630. I hate last minute things, ew.

Today was a fun day at the Science Centre with Eddie Goldstein and people like Adriel, Neha, Colin and Thai Yong. We walked around and were really amazed. Went out to celebrate Vivien's birthday today as well. Bourne Ultimatum was gripping, thrilling and captivating. An intelligent show. Go watch it.

On the other hand, I got stalked/trailed/stared at by this fat guy at Tampines MRT platform at 10plus pm. He first started staring at me when I was nearby him (blue portion). Thus, I moved due to my uneasiness to the right side (green portion). He stared still, and I tried not to look in that direction. Then, I realised he was coming towards me and stood next to me. I moved slightly, and he moved too. I decided to move back to the blue portion but he persisted on following me, literally copying every move I made and wanting to stand next to me.

I was super freaked out and I kept changing my direction but he kept following me. What's worse was:
1. He stank (I could smell him from a three metre radius)
2. He kept pulling his pants up (to his navel) and then pulling them down and up again (Basically, the cycle repeats) - I really wonder what he was doing man!

I threw him off by walking to the other side of the platform really fast, causing him to be cut off by the rest of the commuters. So he couldn't get near me, and was left gaping. However, he was in the same cabin as me and I was so afraid that he would:
1. Plop down beside me
2. Stand in front of me and do his weird pulling pants ritual

I had backup plans to avoid him if he alighted at Tanah Merah, but he did not, to my relief. Why me? Why stare at me like that? Janel rolls her eyes in exasperation. What a scary experience.

I am happy today!

Back to SAC for teacher's day. Who's going? Probably Yazzie, Nicole, Moey, Adryl, Chui Ying, Edel, Mag I guess. Wore a heart rate monitor for the whole of today as part of a study MsNg's doing for her Masters. Heart rate normally: 94. Rachel's is 120 or somewhat. So high. PE was insane, had circuit training, which was tiring.

Set up some other blog somewhere, find it if you can. But I'll always blog here. So much more than this. Sleepy. Still haven't completed LA properly, sigh..

Physics test! Stressed!

Yuki Yaki was fun by the way.

I still think I like my Korea group very much. Everytime I see these people, I think of the good times we spent together in Korea. All the fun, and nonsensical ideas for Project-K. The meetings in my room. Jonathan, Kevin and Anqi, I love you all a lot (: Jonathan has been good company during bus rides, Kevin is always the one keeping things on track and Anqi, is well, the other girl!

--x--

Okay I gotta get back to my work, that was a short 5 minute diversion to take away stress. Physics, Chem-MYSTERY to complete tonight. Acct letter! I don't know, I only have two more hours. I am dead beat from duty today, which ended around 7. And tomorrow's going to be a long day. But I don't want to drag my letter anymore ): I feel so guilty.

I am one of 40,000 Joost beta testers and I am proud of it. Because Joost is going to get big next time. I don't know whether they are going to overtake YouTube. Yeah. Full screen videos in their full glory. You can chat in there as well. Want to be part of it? Mail me for invites, or simply tag (with your email address)

Drat. What happened to year 2006? What happened to the fun I had then? What happened to the times when I was the one who was in control of my fun and my joy? What happened to the time when I once was so close to God that He spoke to me in so many ways? What happened to me since June 2007? Or perhaps, even earlier than that?

Feeling like a ghost of myself
Steeped in drudgery

Like a fish out of water
I flap
flap
flap
about in the hope of drinking again.

Maybe people, when they grow up get these nonsensical things. Not like I've not been through all this rubbish before [2004-2005] Where so many people were being fake and there was a lot of coercion and censorship. I'm scared of those people. Really terrified.

Perhaps, the self defense measures have been activated now just as I had deactivated them again. And if I don't know anything, is not telling me going to make things better? For anyone? No.

No. an effect to convey the importance of that statement.

So, I'm hoping to trudge through this and reformat. You be the judge whether reformatting is good. Wipe a slate clean? Not possible. Fragments of memories. Trappings of disillusionment.

My soul secure, your promise sure
Your love endures always


Faith is trusting God's character and His heart.


Waiting here patiently
Just to hear your still small voice again...

--x--
Going to get owned again in Physics if I don't mug. Consultations with MsCai! Desperate. Assignment is about 70% done. Need to define objectives and design the slides.

Making it on my own.

Nose knows. Headed for a massive hard drive failure. Physical failure. Mental.



Crash.

History: 20/25. Hooray for paying attention in class! And hooray for God's guidance.

But I am drained now. Physics, physics, Teacher's day rehearsals and the requests I can't seem to turn down ( I feel bad when I have to).

Went to Popular today to get a card for Lao Ban. He's been nice, so I didn't mind the effort. I just learned something about myself. I am nice. I can really be nice to you and help you do things, if you ask nicely. But do not incur my wrath. (This is very rare).

Busy.

After October 4, I am going to do a major blog revamp. And shun the lame HTML that I currently use. It's over to XML. Checked out RSS today. Can't get my blog to utilise an RSS feed because I'm still running on the old version of things (Like 90 % of all of the people who actually visit my blog). I want RSS!

I love Presurfer, because Gerard rocks. He gave me an invite to Joost.

PUNCTUALITY


RESPECT


Are these to much to ask for? Not for me. For someone else. Who are you living for, selfishness or for the one you serve? Chew on it. I seldom get infuriated over things as such. But. This.

Can't go on, period. Wake up!

I feel connected yet disconnected. I'm sorry if I am disconnected from you, friends. I just can't seem to find a loose chip which is missing. I am tempted to go into another analogy about neurons, but who bothers?

New connections = Old ones deteriorating? o u t o f p l a c e.
I am confused. And time dribbles through my fingers. Tired. But still running on.

Where did everyone go? I wonder.

The abyss of my mind knows no depths. Kill the dark side! Snuff it out! Because I don't like the dark side of me. I loathe it.

I've got to go to sleep. Planned to sleep earlier today (MsCaiLT says sleep is good, encourages us to sleep)

Physics: FAIL 15/40 (I blanked out). Not really affected by this though. Just going to mug hard so long as I complete my projects. Inertia is keeping me in my blue swivel chair. Wanted to go for Zany, but I have a meeting which I deem more important. After EOYs I'm going to learn CSS and upgrade my blog. Singapore is slow on the web culture wave. Ride Web 2.0, or be left floating in the sea of the World Wide Web. (My, what a nerd I am)

Goodnight/Goodmorning. the place i call home: the dwellings of your house. The only place i feel truly welcome

I thank God that you, my friend, have made the choice to follow Him. I believe that you'll get healed.

The deepest sighs
Of the heart
Sometimes it's a struggle when we first start
To wrap our needs up in words
And trust that somehow we will be heard
Draw near, and know you are loved
God hears, and his heart is touched

Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when your hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray

There's hope for you, hope in Jesus, who loves you.

--xx--

Okay I'm super busy but I've got to blog. I need to write my acct letter but I've no time. Deadlines, Duty are killing me. Anyway, I thank God for Chinese: PASS 66/110. This is the first time I've not been in the bottom few. Hooray! And it's Higher Chinese some more. I used to fail express chinese. So yes, I thank God and I thank Joey, Yuwei, Tianxing and Liu Qi for their efforts to teach me (:

One more, and they will all come in
Sweeping in like a tsunami
Destruction for good, not bad
Rebuilding the walls

Yes & Amen. Thank you God!

So today and yesterday I was barely in class, for I had to do PA duty. I would have rather sat in class and gone through the papers. Rather patriotic stuff they had going on in the PT, the little children were adorable. Had Kompol and Vincent for company doing the follow-spot. Anyway, results are out:

Lit PASS 15/25
LA PASS 32/50
Bio PASS 17/25 (The only subject that I might have a chance topping overall)

I love Bio! LA was surprising, I thought I did badly, but it turned out quite well. Yeah.

To live is Christ and to die is gain. I want to be a God-chaser again. I will give God no less than my best, no matter how crappy I feel. I will drag myself, trudge through the valley and out of it, because I know He is there to hold my hand and lead me on. Thank you.

--xx--
A few things that I chanced upon.

A dental advert
I thought this was really funny.

The First McDonald's commercial

This is old school Ronald, and he sure looks creepy. I wouldn't patronize the Fast Food giant if I saw this advertisement first. I wonder if kids actually burst into tears upon seeing this.

10 creepiest fast food mascots

Funny links. I like the Grimace with 4 hands best. You know, the purple guy from McDonald's? He even had a green uncle. The King (from Burger King) is rather freaky as well. I mean, do you want to wake up to see some guy in a plastic mask smiling at you? NO! I would start clubbing him instantly. And if you look at the ad in another way, it looks kind of gay. Or is it just me? Tag your comments.

Japanese vending machines

Take your pick. They even sell Rhinoceros Beetles, weird!

Area fun day was good! Anyway, I shall do a bit of showing off here, posting my current Firefox screenshot.Firefox owns completely, especially my The Simpsons theme. Oh go join Digg and StumbleUpon with me! (: Let me know. IE should just go and rot. Because, plainly, Firefox owns. Look at my RSS feeds, Bookmarks toolbar, FoxyTunes (Player compatible with iTunes). I can't wait for Firefox 3 (also codenamed Gran Paradiso) to come out!

My nose is going haywire, I blow out mucus with traces of blood. National day celebrations were a screw-up. Key ideas : Mic/ Rented Wires spoilt, SC/PA tension, PA internal tension, Tempers flared.

Yu An and I had to calm the guys down. Oh by the way, carrying the Celestion speakers from the first floor up to the room on the second floor is no mean feat. Try carrying it and you will find out.

I'm going to settle area stuff, then watch The Simpsons Movie online (not on YouTube).

Mozy.com
Free backup, 2GB space, with extra space added when you refer a friend! You never know when your computer will crash.

Digg
A social Web 2.0 website. With Digg you can help promote and share news to the millions of Digg viewers with a single click (Digging a story). It's really big in the US, so why not be one of the first few that use it?

--xx--
Replies to the sudden influx of tags:
Tianxing, Yup it's a nice song! And yes, I am getting better, I hope. Besides the blood.
Jenson, What miracle? Haha okay. And you finally started blogging again!
Leslie, Sweets and chips! :D
Jesslyn, Serious? I don't even do that!
Allen/Yuwei, Haha you very funny. Shameless!
Shennlinn, Thanks!
Rach, Hurrah for all of us!
Rachelchai, It's not me. Some picture i grabbed off InterfaceLift
Dory, Thank you for confirming the fact that I am a genius. Yes, I don't even bother with Pirated DVDs anymore.
Neha, Yup, thanks!

Freedom

Never tasted as good

Review Week is over!

I have a sudden addiction to sites such as The Presurfer, Likehacker, Gizmodo and Engadget. Oh, and do you know you can catch Channel 8 Drama Serials on YouTube?

Choices.
They come back to get you, don't they?

The fragile and dull thud
And so it goes thump thump thump
Fading off ever so slowly
gently
subtly
Until you forget it even exists

Such are the nuances of a human heart.

History never produces didactic lessons. Sensitivity.

--xx--
Interesting post to read : The things money just can't buy

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say "never"
'Cause the welcome will not end

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not to long to live as friends.

Screwed up Physics big time, I freaked out so much that I forgot the Density formula! Now everyone, go wooooooooooooooooow. Haha alright. Got to move on, my brain is not absorbing characterisation. I shall learn from Review Week 2 and do better next time. Chinese and Lit tomorrow, I do hope I'll pass Chinese. I certainly do, I don't want to let laoshi down. Yup.

Van: I love you table/mugging part (:
Yuwei: Thanks for the offer!

You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Let the weak say, "I am strong"

So I shall do my LA revision by blogging.

Postmodernism.
Let's take Habbo Hotel for example. As we buy into it, as we get sucked into the world of make-believe, and we might assume it's real. As such, we are brought into a world of hyperreality, a world we think exists, where in actual fact it does not. As we delve deeper into this fantasy world and come to the belief that we are the avatars, the reality that has been shaped for us.

Disneyland and simulacra. A "happy" world, a clever marketing ploy directed towards us, the postmodern consumers who have become addicted to consumerism. Bringing us into an imaginary world, it makes us believe that it is real. It is no longer a false representation of reality, but rather, something that conceals the fact that the "real" we perceive is no longer real.

Utopian ideals are rejected in postmodernism and we practice Nihilism. All establised authority is corrupt! We no longer place our trust in the metanarratives of the past. We view these overarching universal truths with disbelief and incredulity, as now the individuals are empowered to make their own choices.