Cerebro

My body is aching from floorball training yesterday. Tough. I thought it was going to be easy, but they made us run so much. 5 sets of suicides at the end of training, what could be worse? Still thinking about floor vs rock. Somehow I feel more at home at floorball, I have cool juniors. The things i dislike though, are the fact that we train with guys - it's so unfair because they trash us in games. I can feel the muscle definition coming back, and I don't want arm muscles like last time. My calves are bad enough, thankyouverymuch. Fact of the day about me: I have high metabolism and I build muscle faster than most girls. I used to have two pecs then i got grossed out and stopped doing sit ups daily. (My max in 1 min was 50 at my peak, ownage!)

I'm dead beat, been busy the whole day, and trying to rush my LA and Chinese composition now. Kangjian and I are helping each other, what a nice pact :)

/edit
So I'm done with Chinese and part of my pact, doing my own LA now. Then I'm going to talk to fake hunk. Yay.

A Question

How does it feel like being a dangling
extra arm?
Feels bad.


Anyway, I've got Floorball training tomorrow, I might join if I like it, I might not. I've gotta be in school by 8, then get to church later in the afternoon. School is getting rather dreary with the loads of assignments/projects piling up. And it's only now that I'm reminded that I'm lagging behind in academics again. Met up with Eunice today, mugged a bit, walked around Parkway a bit. I bought a little math formula book at Popular and 3 pairs of earrings at Diva for $2.50, how cheap is that?

A funny exam answer: Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

Switchfoot - The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast till the break of daylight where
The shadow proves the sunshine

Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?
Oh Lord, don't be far away away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord, don't look the other way

(I'm a) Crooked soul trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast to the break of day light where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Yeah Yeah, shine on me
Yeah Yeah, shine on me
Yeah Yeah, shine on me
Yeah Yeah, shine on me

Crooked souls trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast to the break of day light where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Yeah Yeah, shine on me
Yeah Yeah, shine on me
Yeah Yeah, shine on me

Shine on me,
Let my shadows prove the sunshine
--xx--
It's my favourite Switchfoot song of the moment. It's not a single, and I wonder why it wasn't made into one. It's amazing how many meanings you can create from Switchfoot songs.

The title "The shadow proves the sunshine" probably means that if we don't have trials, pain and grief, "shadows" in our lives, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the "sunshine", the warmth, joy and love and the goodness of grace. How would you know there is light if there aren't shadows to contrast it? Applying this, I remember a quote somewhere: "Courage only exists when danger exists"

"Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing"
Such a degree of helplessness , vulnerability and openness.

"(I'm a) Crooked soul trying to stay up straight" probably talks of one being so sinful, so unworthy, yet struggling to stand up. Trying to please God but falling short, again and again.

"Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?
Oh Lord, don't be far away away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord, don't look the other way"
Isn't this the way they cry out to God in Psalms? Wondering where God is, seeking Him. And yet, they know that "The shadow proves the sunshine"

The song takes an upbeat turn, likened to a victory cry when it reaches the bridge : "Yeah Yeah, shine on me" It's probably an awakening - an encounter with God.

I've also got another interpretation: Christ's Cruxifiction.
" Two scared little runaways" could be referring to the two thieves who were crucified next to Jesus.

"Hold fast to the break of daylight": The thieves were trying to stay live till the morning broke, for they would have been released if they still were living at the break of daylight.

"Crooked soul trying to stay up straight": Christ struggling to breathe, because if you don't stay up straight on the cross the air doesn't get to your lungs. Crooked because he bore the weight of the world upon his shoulders, a heavy burden to bear for you and me. And His soul was tortured.

"Oh Lord why do you forsake me": Jesus cried out to God in his last moments "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?...My God, my God, why have You deserted Me?"

"Dry eyes in the pouring rain": Tears shed dry for the sinners

"The Shadow proves the sunshine": As Jesus heaved his last breath, the sun stopped shining and a shadow came over the land. And all men's sins were redeemed - the sunshine.

Luke 23: 44-45
It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.

I love this song, I really do :) But I love my God more :)

Ammunition

My body has caved in and I have fallen sick with URTI - Upper Respiratory Tract Infection. Headed down to Marine Parade Polyclinic today and got a very chatty doctor who has allergic rhinitis and a botoxed arm (he suffers from writer's cramp).

Well basically my problem here is that I have had a runny nose since who knows when, but it worsened recently, coupled with an annoying and hacking cough which leaves me breathless at the worst. My mucus is gross - I have many types. Clear, Yellow, Yellowish-green. The recent addition to the palette is Orange. Yup, that's right. Yellow mucus with traces of blood is my current colour. I ran a fever yesterday too.

I've got a refferal letter to go see the ENT Dept. at SGH. I hope I'm not diagnosed with anything scary. Cantonese + Genetics = High Risk ENT. Why is it that I've just realised?

Coping well with school so far, have yet to find another CCA. I like all my subjects this year, a marked change from last year. I find Chem particularly appealing. Biology lessons so far have been a bore. All talk no content. Sometimes I just go : "Stop talking rubbish and start teaching Bio!" in my head.

Got a headache now. Gotta go. By the way, if anyone wants to trade a $80 ticket for a $90 ticket to Switchfoot just call me. You only need to pay $5 for the upgrade :)

To Josh Michael Birt aka JOSHY!
Happy birthday kiddo :)
You've been a great friend since Neopets days. Blonde jokes and song-sending aside, you're a great friend, you really are! Entertaining, insane. Man I tell you, if anyone of you thinks you're crazy - Josh beats you hands down : "All time crazy, Skated a apartment block rooftop with a 150 ft drop on the other side and bailed , my phone flew out of my pocket and shattered on the floor "

I stole this from his Myspace. Haha! I hope this kid continues to Live on the edge as he likes it.

First Day Of Lessons

Lessons were a bit slack today, glad I could understand math. Physics was good - I liked the new idea of compiling notes into a book. It gives slower people like me time to read ahead.

Received my carelessly done math re-paper. Disappointed at self still. But I know I put in my best. So yeah.

Played pool at The Igloo with the V11 guys. I happened to pass by their class after math consultation and decided to pop by. We ended up playing pool, which was fun. Marc and I went first, then Gerald and Moses came. The school's table cannot cut it as a good one. The ones at Le Meridien are nicer. Anyway the first game I played terribly, but the second game was good. Nice clean straight shots. We went to eat free pre-dinner at the canteen courtesy of the noodle stall lady.

Mr. Crazy Cyclist Jenson Chen cycled down and I met him. Was nice meeting up :) Thanks for the subsidy hahaha. The best part is that the crazy guy cycled behind my bus all the way to my bus stop. Insane. I was so scared that he'd crash! (esp when he was crossing that lane which has cars coming from the expressway) Stupid Timo and Wadee were laughing all the way home because they were in the bus with me. But we called a truce eh guys? Today was fun. Totally. (Amanda's language)

The First Post Of The Year

The First Post Of The Year Will Be Filled Up Soon - hopefully.

No New Year Resolutions. I am not an advocate of making them because they never come true. So this year, I shall have a code of how I'm going to live.

Well at least I shall attempt to write my mottos for the year:
1. Stand On My Salvation
2. Not To Lose Sight Of The Son
3. Make My Life Count For Jesus

The Object(s) I want to be:
Candle On A Rock

Candle - So that I might bring light to the darkness, be a catalyst for positive change
Rock - I want to be solid on my convictions, my values, my stand. I shall not conform to what others do if I think they are wrong.

I'm an ENFP/J by the way. It's going to be the year I turn sixteen and I am starting to feel old when I notice that the kids I took care of when I was Primary Six and they were Primary Twos are going to take their PSLE this year. I'm beginning to see things more maturely this year. Age makes you slightly more tolerant to certain things. But when I see something that conflicts with my stand, I have no qualms voicing it out, even though I don't like to do so to higher authority. Somehow I don't want to be this old, but somehow I want to grow up so that I can get more freedom. Like how AhLee was saying: "Faster grow up then you can come play with us" I gained a foothold last year and I'm glad for that.

I wish there were more people like me. The type of people who enjoy running out in the outdoors and doing outrageous yet non-dangerous things. The kind of people who dare. I'm a risk taker - but I calculate the cost always. I miss my pranking partners very much.

I want to build up my friendships, I want to treasure my friends. I want to let the people that matter know that they're appreciated. I want to be selfless - I wanna serve. (Even though I get left out sometimes in the process, it's okay i guess)

But for now, it's school! Finally lessons actually start after a busy two weeks without lessons. Hooray for no O-levels. But I'm going to work hard this year. I've realised that slacking is not the way to go.

31st Jan is a date to mark down. Switchfoot! Going to be great.

& If you think I've forgotten, I still want to make a difference in the world. And I am not in it alone.