Disturbed

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NAPFA today was sad, because I realised I didn't get my perfect 30 points! I have a strong feeling that the run timings are oddly rigged. I mean, how can I complete 2.4 in 14:05? That's only when I slack off. Hmm, and I was clocking 11plus at the end of my fifth round. So theoretically, it's not possible that I ran 14:05 because I completed my last round faster than any of my other rounds. Mm, and Neha and I ran in at the same time and she got 13:50 and I got 14:05. I heard SL's and YS' differed by 40secs even though they ran in together as well :/

Anyway, results.
(4) 2.4km: 14:05
(5) Sit-ups: 45
(5) Inclined Pull Ups: 18
(5) Shuttle Run: 10.3
(5) Sit and reach: 56
(5) Standing Broad Jump: 200

2.4 is rigged, sit-ups are bad! (I was going, oh man! after them, cos I didn't even stretch myself to my maximum. Halfway I stopped to take off my specs.) IPU are just dissapointing (because I was lazy), Shuttle run is good (I'm more of a sprinter), Sit and reach is weird (cos I don't know why I'm so flexible), Standing Broad Jump is so-so.

Had outdoor sound equipment check today as well. Pretty fun, even though it was mainly YY and I doing it.

BEEF LIVER!

Friday
Rehearsals, rehearsals. Our lovely seniors from Bioteam came down to offer advice and help and MsFarah treated us to Pelican Pizza (Yum Yum Yum) which the Gra, Lucas and I ravenously chomped down on. Lucas and I went all kiddy during the rehearsals. He started the kid-fight by first trying to use his pen to poke me. We then went running around like silly kids trying to catch each other and upgraded to rubber-bands and untying shoelaces. Must have been the stress brought upon by memorizing the script.

Decided to crash Drama Night. Was great, but ended late. It was the first event I watched as non-crew, and the experience is entirely different! Sat next to Lucas and Gabriel, with the flower meant for Adeeb on my lap.

Open House yesterday.

I don't really know what happened in the great scheme of things, because I was cooped up in L20A the whole day. After yesterday, I will never look at beef liver the same way again. Never, never, never. In order to demonstrate the action of enzymes, we had to pulp it, blood and all, and put it into Hydrogen Peroxide. There was beef liver in front of me for at least 7 hours. And try smelling it. It smells foul! When I was on the way to church I was hallucinating about it. I could see and smell it (Actually Presentations were alright, stuttered a bit during one, but I didn't miss any lines, so all was good :) Norm! You're too serious okay, you've gotta lighten up! :P You and Gra and Lucas are awesome, I loved being part of the Bioteam with you. Gra's grass, Lucas' Loo and Janel's Jam on the board (I forgot what's Norm's). Ate a slice of a Chocz cake, which was awfully chocolately good!

I was so tired that I couldn't talk after I'd finished scrubbing the beef liver off the white tiles. I just rest my head on the table. It's tiring to present for 5 times 30 minute long sessions, putting on a front that's so enthusiastic and confident (Not that I'm not, but the enthusiasm and energy required for the presentation really is energy-sapping). I really salute those teachers who come into class enthusiastic all the time, because it is never easy.

Today
Evelyn taught me Organic Chemistry at some void deck near our place. Was interesting, because we started doodling.

I'm Caught In Your Grace

I've been thinking too much lately. But one of the few topics that have popped up in my mind, I have to get out here. Teachers.

I owe a lot to my Primary Six teacher - MrsCatherineTan. Despite knowing about an issue, she never made a big deal about it, as I hoped. She gave me her full support, without trying too hard to pry, and letting me talk when I wanted to. It's only a few people who've seen me at my most down, at my most weary, my darkest, my worst possible, and unglam conditions, and she's one of them. And I still remember how she used to tell me to be strong. Which I have been, for a long time, and still am. I haven't talked to her for ages, but she still remains a great part of my life. I know that my class didn't use to like her because of the insane amounts of work she piled on us, but in the end, they figured, it was for their own good when they received their (somewhat) stellar results. I thank God for placing her into my life. And I wanna do something special for her this Teacher's Day.

I miss MsLow, MrYang and MrsJ! IP's not the same without them :( I still remember MsLow's passion for Biology, her enthusiasm and creativity, and helpfulness to The Bioteam. Thank goodness our lovely seniors are still going to be around to help us. (I doubt Bioteam will bother about the 08 juniors, hmmm.) MrYang used to carry out interesting and engaging discussions that I used to get drawn into, and he's really an approchable person. MrsJ, was, well, fabulous at design, funny, and all.

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I think I'm finally coming out of my closet, being more open with some stuff, thanks to two people, who might not even know they've caused me to be as such, but yeah, they have. And I'm thankful for that. They'd probably be the first people I'm going to share with.
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Open House in three days. God, see me through. Gogogogo, Janel, Norman, Lucas, Gra! We can do it yeah! :D If anyone of you is bored on a Saturday morning / afternoon, do come down. Pretend to be a brother or sister or something.

Censor, censor, censor

I just typed out a blog post. Then I went to censor myself, and now I don't feel like putting it back on. This is the thing about blogs. You don't know who they're being read by, so some information, you can't put up. As much as I want to.

Self-censor
Self-censor
Self-censor

Self-censorship, till the essence of what I'm writing is gone. I'm considering putting up a private blog for a smaller audience to view, hmm.

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Anyway. Things to do, since I'm slightly more free.

• Prepare for VIP Open House on the 26th - Biology (the love!)
• Decide whether to go to OBS (with Gra, and Wanqing and possibly Wadee)
• Find out what in the world is happening with my NUS Proteomics Attachment / Research Module (which I havent gotten any news about)
• Start on my NUS Geography Challenge Video with the Geogteam
  
• Cut my hair (I've procrastinated long enough)
  
• Get contacts or a new pair of spectacles (Mine are old >3 years, and ugly)
  
• Get a job if I'm not doing my attachment
• Buy myself a birthday present: Either an iPod or a guitar (Since my mom's not going to get either for me anyway, I might as well get them myself)
  
• Get a tan
  
• Get a new wallet
  
• Go catch a movie (If I do, it'd be the second one this year :X I'm deprived of cinematic experiences. Maybe it's because I pirate too much, hmmm.)
• Go do something arty - watch a play or something, I dunn
• CONFIGURE MY WIRELESS ROUTER FOR GOOD (I'm so annoyed at it!)
• Mug mug mug.
  

I'll be asking around :) If you're interested in going anywhere, let me know. But I'll most probably be free only in June, unless I manage to squeeze some time out somewhere.

Bishbashbosh

Woo. I just wasted 1.5 hours of my life waiting for some guy to configure my wireless. I told my mom it does not work, and she still went to ask him. I mean, I know how to configure wireless systems and all, I can do it on Starhub. Hmph! >:( One and a half hours is a whole load of time which I could have put to better use, rather than waiting for him to use my computer. I was going "Nooo nooooo noooo stop doing, it doesn't work" in my brain, but he persisted. Yeah he was nice, but aiya. I could have talked to people online/phone man.

Stupid Singtel. Encrypt the system until like that. The signal is excellent, but no packets transferring. Dots. Could it be the DNS servers?
=(

The Night After

Yesterday I was so tired, I didn't blog properly. Anyway, I was thinking again, and I realised that what Pauline said was true. When I was younger I swore I would "never ever wear a dress" and I did, yesterday. It's a sign that I'm becoming more feminine. But I'd only wear one if there's a special occasion, or if someone pays me to do it. But nah, no one's given me a good offer yet. All i get is 2 bucks. No thanks. I've gotten really interesting reactions from different people :"OMG. YOU WERE WEARING A DRESS TO CHURCH." (From Priscilla), and many many others. Basically, 90% of people were shocked, and are persuading me to dress like that more often.

I used to be very "guy" in Primary school. Those who've known me long enough, you'd be able to testify. Soccer every day before school, and our version of rugby.

I'm changing, and I'm changing for the better. I still need to get adjusted, I still need to be less unglam and chor lor (haha colloquial terms), I still need to get used to stuff. But whooo. I am a girl, and I love being one. (Because I don't need to go serve NS). But you'll hardly ever find me being a ditz. Whack me if you do.

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If you saw my hand, and are thinking that I'm an emokid who slashed myself, nope, I didn't. My stupid umbrella scratched me. My sister says anyone who doesn't know any better would have thought so.

I Am Blessed

I am blessed. Yes, you heard it right, I am truly blessed. Despite the fact that some pieces of my life are missing, I still think I'm very blessed. Hearing what a friend has, and is going through, really breaks my heart. At such a young age, I can't imagine the pain she had to face. She is really a strong girl. I'd break down if I were her. Ah, men, men, men. I mean, someone is so near, yet so far, and there's nothing she can do about it. Except to cling onto God. If you think your life sucks (for a lack of a better word), hers is tougher. I admire her strength. And hey, if you ever read this, I'm behind you :) Be strong girl.

I am blessed. I have close friends who're willing to put up with me, when I am lame, or trying. And I appreciate them. I'd rather have them than a thousand aquaintances anyday.

I am blessed, because I have a God who loves me for who I am :)

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Musicfest 2008 was a blast. Well, it didn't excite or enthrall me as much as it would have to the audience, but it was definitely one of the best duties I've been on. Perhaps it's because I've seen it form up from scratch, perhaps it was the long hours I've clocked in, perhaps, it's the knowledge of what's going to happen, what I have to do. Or maybe it's just the lethargy from holding the heavy spots, with arms locked in position. Tiring I tell you man. A millimetre of quivering from the arm makes the spot vibrate, and it looks ugly. Trust me, don't say I am lucky because I have free access to the place, because it's so different watching something as crew.

Oh by the way. Kai Liang is an MCP! He left me alone to carry my shoebag, jacket, file, school bag, cans, wires, aircon remote control down by myself. I looked like a total idiot okay, the wire was draped around my neck, and the remote was sticking out of my pocket, and my jacket was on my shoulders. Bah. Ungentlemanly, you! Haha. But thanks for helping me with the light at the times when my hands were breaking. We did a great job yay.

The downside is that Musicfest brings out the horrible side of certain people. The spoilers. Mostly guys who shout at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason at all. They think they're cool, but to others, they just look like hooligans. Some silly people went to stand up and try to block the spotlight too, so there was a splodge of black one time.

Musicfest went great. And I thank God for that :) The crew, the conversations I had with YY on the cans (with us muttering comments about the dumb, the gay, and the idiotic), Kai Liang in the spot room, and the "juniors", it's unforgettable. This is the 24th's last event. Technically, I'm part of the 24ths, but I'll be staying on with the 25ths as well. (And the 25ths are cool too!) I'm going to miss the 24ths, every single one of them. I've probably spent more than 200 hours with them already. I'm going to miss late night bus rides home with YY, where we go absolutely crazy. I love my crew!

The event was summed up with the usual - Victorian anthem and Yo VJC. Awesome stuff. Debrief, and bus ride home, where YY and me reminscised the whole history of the 24ths. Reached home about 1145.

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I am lazy, so I shall blog about today in keywords: Overdue homework handed up, school, ICA, passport renewal, town, food, walking around, house, embarrasing, annoying "small eyes" quip, TLW, pretty people, dress, cell.

So Much More Than This

Life is meant to be much more than a cycle of meaningless pursuits. Drop out of the rat race! It's one thing to want something and do things to achieve it, and it's another to look out for yourself.

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I know sometimes it's hard to find the strength to turn the page
When all of our tomorrows look like used up yesterdays

Maybe this path we're taking
Could really be the road to breaking free
Are you with me

One little revolution could turn it all around
Back to the Kingdom we once knew
Just a little bit of me, and a little bit of you
One little miracle to get us through

We can right the wrong
From this moment on
-

One Little Miracle

I haven't been here for awhile already, it's been a busy week.

Friday
Planetshakers and Tim Hughes. I must say, this was great, it was God-centred (compared to Ultraviolet), and I could feel God's presence. One thing about me - no matter the location/type of event, I still worship God the same. In MegaLife service, in cell, at big conferences. To me, worship is from the heart, and you don't sing louder just because you're at a cool event. In all circumstances, worship should be with all your heart. So I hope that people there weren't just feeling the hype. I hope they brought back the passion into their Youth services, because what's the point singing your lungs out one day, then going back and worshipping without passion?

I had great company. Audrey, Charles, Shaun and the other old people (Nigel, Tianying and Hanwei). Charles was being gay the whole day, and Audrey was trying to tickle me. We raced through Tanah Merah underpass towards Simpang. It's the first time I've been allowed to stay out for supper.

Saturday
Cell was great, God's presence was so strong, and I couldn't think of anything better than that :) I love my cell.

Like It, Love It, Need It

I just sent in my History task. I got home at 930pm today after a tech run in the Performance Theatre, and I'm so tired. I haven't even bathed yet, the moment I came home I started on work immediately. No food, no water, nothing. I'm feeling burnt out, but thank goodness there aren't lessons this week. Financial Literacy 2 for the win!

Somehow, I seem to be underperforming in certain things. Despite my sleepless nights up doing work. But I'll snap out of it soon, hopefully. I have to change my habits man! Haha. On a happy note, I have made a marked improvement in Math. Got back class test's results today. A. First A in a long time.

Anyway tomorrow is my first PT event of the year, I'm doing sound, helming the mixer, and I'm excited, looking forward to it. I took a rough tumble last time, but I learnt, and I'm much better at doing it now.

Hang Onto You

Hang in there girl. You can make it. Once you get through this, I know you're going to be stronger, I know you're going to be someone with a moulded character. I know demands are tough, people are making requests of you that you can't always accede to, and time is tight. Do not ever feel inadequate, for these are lies the devil's planting your soul, he wants to steal joy away from you. Stand strong. Be strong. And don't give up. Run the race with the goal in mind, and I'm sure things will be fine :) You're different from the rest, but I'm glad you know very well where you stand, and what you believe in. Keep going that way. It's a lonely path sometimes, but come on, you have close friends, who are there for you. Also, do you know, how many people look up to you? A whole lot. Anyway, I know this is a crucial and important season for you, it'll define who you are, and what you stand for. All I can say is prepare yourself. This is more than just a tough season. It's spiritual warfare. Because you've got a destiny that is precious. You're something special. And someone's going to make your life tough because of that. Girl, keep on holding on to your faith alright! You're doing a good job so far.

Faith, is trusting in God's character and His heart.

"Some things you may never understand
But knowledge from lessons not your own
Can save you from the unknown which may stop your fall"
Kutless - Mistakes

Kingdom Of Comfort

Delirious? has a new album, Kingdom Of Comfort. It's released in the USA on 1st April 2008 and in the UK on 14th April 2008. If you want it, ask me. I Heart Revolution is in Singapore already, Trumpet Praise called me on Thursday, so hooray for that!

MCR last night was good, I'm all ready for more today. I realised, I have loads of Christian music.

Hillsong, Hillsong United, Planetshakers, Delirious?, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band, Kutless, Relient K, Switchfoot, Natalie Grant, Third Day, MercyMe, Casting Crowns, Jars Of Clay, Pillar, dc Talk, Sanctus Real *The Afters, Jeremy Camp, Tobymac, Steven Curtis Chapman, Tim Hughes

Phillips, Craig & Dean, NewSong, Nicole Nordeman, Apologetix, Avalon, Krystal Meyers, Leeland, Michael W. Smith, Don Moen, Newsboys, Paradise Community Church, Passion, Paul Baloche, Riverview Church, Ron Kenoly, Travis Cotrell, Tree63, Yfriday, Youth Alive, Point Of Grace, Building 429, Caedmon's call, Christian City Church, Matt Redman.

Chicken Mania

I ate a Ramly Chicken burger during break in the morning, Roasted chicken rice for lunch (with ham and egg omelette as well), 2pc Chicken at KFC for dinner, then BBQ Chicken wings for supper.

That's a whole lot of chicken. I didn't even know I was eating that much till I ate the BBQ Chicken wings. But anyway, chicken's my favourite meat. Beef comes in a close second. And I don't like fish, or vegetables. Some of my friends call me a fussy eater, but the thing is, if I like something, and I'm hungry, I will help you eat your leftovers.

Anyway! Results are out, I'm off to Dubai in June. I'm excited! I'm going to die from the searing temperatures though. MrBoy played a horribly annoying yet intelligent trick on us before that. He allocated me to India (which was my last choice), and all of the other IP students got posted to destinations they didn't want to go to. But it was really funny. Allocated to Dubai in the end.

Today's April Fools. I haven't done anything funny yet, besides tricking AhLee that Mas Selamat was caught last night. I still remember I used to love April Fools, how I'd plan my elaborate schemes a week before April Fools. Too bad there isn't anyone to play alongside me now. Sometimes, people are just boring. And my modus operandi is that I don't work alone, so I'm giving it a miss this year. But I really wanna play pranks on people! It's just that streak within me which desperately desires to be fulfilled. But it's no fun if people don't appreciate the humour that comes along with pranks. I miss pranking parts Stace, and Nat! (and all else)