Hobson

I really, really do not like Hobson's choices. Especially when they are about matters close to the heart.

But I loved the ten-minute walk home. It's like when a whole wave, a whole barrage of memories and emotions hits you and you're so weak, so helpless but then you manage to hold your ground & still exalt Jesus.

And when you do that, you know you've matured. Because the way you respond is no longer like how you used to; your eyes have been opened, and are still opening as each day comes and goes. Because your mountains of doubt have faded away. Because you trust. Because you believe beyond your circumstances. Because you don't quite understand, but you choose to live by faith and not by sight. Because you've found grace. Because your Love is all we need.

We didn't choose Love. Love chose us first.

Do you trust in the Love that pursues you?

Seeing beyond

Sometimes, we view the world from behind sepia coloured glasses.
Sometimes, things seem like the fragmented pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
Sometimes, everything's part of a blurry motion in a long-exposed camera shot.
Sometimes, things don't make sense.
Where is God when it hurts? You ask. I mean, doesn't He love us?
Why do natural disasters and calamities occur?
Why do we need to go through pain?


But all it takes, is to see the beauty in the broken.
To trade the pain, for joy.
To embrace the incomprehensible.
Because maybe, we haven't seen the bigger Master Plan that He has.
Maybe, when we look back someday and connect the dots, we'll see how His will has beautifully unfolded in our lives.

If God is for us, who can be against us? No weapon formed against us shall remain. We're covered by nothing but the blood of Jesus. And that's more than enough.

I'm Janel. I believe that everything happens for a reason :)

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Helmsman: Careers definitely has been enriching and fun so far. Wanqing and I are covering the event on Canon 350D and 400D. (Ha, I get the 400D tomorrow, yayness) With cool people like Dennis Goh of www.hungrygowhere.com, and William Lim, CEO of Old Chang Kee, how could you not enjoy yourself? William Lim is the most down-to-earth CEO I've ever met and his passion for his company really shows. He's generous and funny. Funny, as in laugh till your sides hurt kind of funny. I'm not kidding! Dennis Goh is just amazing, it's really an honour, because I've used HungryGoWhere countless times to check out foodie places. And it's so clear that he believes in young people, and has noble dreams to be a philanthropist.

DJ Joe Augustin on Friday, Priscilla Khong, illusionist, on Thurs, and an ex creative head of Walt Disney tomorrow.

We Were Meant To Be

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning some dark and cold
There is a spirit, who brings a fire
Ignites a candle, and makes his own.

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn,
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, go light your world.

It doesn't take much to see God's hands moving in my life, and in those around me. All I want to say is, light your candle, keep the spark. Coming to think about it, the world is becoming more crooked, depraved, dark. But instead of discouraging me, it only makes me desire more to effect a change, because the darker it is, the brighter a candle shines. As I've been encouraging the cell, your life is meant for so much more than this. We were made for impact. We were made to be change agents. We were created and chosen before the Earth even came into existence. And in God, we are made extraordinary.

It only takes a spark to get the fire going.
Today, shine your light.
Today, go light your world.
Today, go live the life that you've been called to lead.
And soon all those around will warm up in its glowing.

I'm learning and seeing so much more each day. Not only in my head, but in my heart as well. It's such a humbling privilege, that I'm grateful for.

To Learn, to Live, to Love

Love is never easy, you can't force it

But
Love is the movement. Love is the reason we live. It just needs to be placed in the right places, at the right time.

Friend, I'm glad you finally learnt it (though through the hard way).
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I had an absolutely charming weekend. The Dark Knight at The Grand Cathay with 17 other cohort-mates. 13 other classmates, plus Sulin, Ed, Kundan, Lavan. The Dark Knight lived up to expectations, it was amazing. But somehow, I think Batman Begins was better. Maybe it was because it was with the family. Headed down to have dinner at NewYorkNewYork later. Mission training in church, and I think my team is cool.

College Day, Service, Powerpacked cell. Wow. It is really true, that things happen for a reason. Awesome stuff.

Little by little, we're taking ground :)

Little by little, we're taking ground

His strength is made perfect in our weakness :)

Today's a true Thank-God-It's-Friday (TGIF) kind of Friday. Classes are out at 1135am, then there's The Dark Knight (Ah, beloved Batman) with Rachel and Ed, dinner with BMN, mission training and a phone call I'm really looking forward to.

Happy day, here I come! Finally, a chance to breathe for a while after a really hectic week.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Burning out

I'm stuck in V25, in my second cca. There's math test tomorrow, which I'm not fully prepared for. Please tell me what I'm doing here again. I'm really, really bored. Seriously.

But I Passed My Chinese :D

We All Need Each Other

What if you've got not just one, but two? Yet, you want none of it now (and you don't know whether you'll even want it at all)? Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but then again, ignorance isn't. Because you can't always run away from certain things. I know I'm talking in riddles, that I suppose no one could decipher, but I just need to air my thoughts out, for the sake of it.

Some people might say I'm lucky. But I really don't know.
Confused.

(And this is not me being emotional, this is just me pondering :) )
Maybe this is what an afternoon filled with math and A1 does to me.

A1 does have some really nice songs though, one of them is One In Love, which sounds strangely familiar to CT Council's song.

Fun On Foot

Went running around Singapore with Joann, Adriel and Zifeng today, to the weirdest of places like Jalan Besar Stadium, the Police Gurkha contingent, Mt. Vernon Columbarium, MICA building, Central Fire Station. Somehow, we also managed to find ourselves smack in the heart of little India.
It was crazy, tiring, but Fun. After all, it was called Fun On Foot right?

I love races like these, they're always an adventure. When we hit the road running, disregarding traffic rules, sprinting just to freak teams out. We were holding on to our trusty road directory the whole journey. Today, I found a new love - Original H-Two-0. Chugged it down real quick.

Still thinking of whether to go for Prom. It's the whole money thing - it could be put somewhere else. And spending it on dressing up doesn't quite appeal to me. I don't know. Well, well.

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Once we start on something, or make certain decisions, there is no turning back.

Yo BMN. As I've said I'll post this up. This, is the reason I'm hardly down.

Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate. -Grey's Anatomy

I think, it's because no matter how sucky it is, I know things can be worse, and I appreciate what I already have. Because when I think I have nothing, I actually have all I need already :)
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Today, my wonderful classmate accidentally pressed the emergency button on the home-bound MRT. The train did not move from the station and the station staff came. It was frightfully embarrassing. Ah. Dumb boy.
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/edit

Love - 1 cor 13

1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

This, is why, I Love.

Oh! Panorama

Panorama shot taken by Ian, stitched together and edited during Photog today by Wanqing and I. Click to see bigger version. I actually had fun today!

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At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves. -Grey's Anatomy

Off Day

Didn't go to school today.

I hate pulsating tension headaches and heart pains. Yesterday's were the worst ever. Could be likened to mini bombs going off in my head and chest.

But all's well. In the case of a future attack, I've got painkillers. (Yay). But since I've only got 10 doses, I'm going to use them wisely.

As for my perennially leaking nose, I'm prescribed a nasal spray.

Back to hit the books at school tomorrow.

Nubian Gents II

Wow, so many things happened yesterday.

Love came knocking on the door last night. Many lives received that love. I'm so glad for them. Megalife has finally crossed over, and I'm proud to say I love my ministry! The crossing over from fears to faith was so evident last night, a crossing over where people went, "Hey, I'm not ashamed of my God". The hands outstretched in worship, the praises given all lifted the name of God high. And He was there. He was definitely there. It was a presence, so strong, that when the Nubian Gents were performing to "Grace", my heart beat so fast, so quick, so strong. That's when everything just hit me all at once - God is so good. Though the numbers weren't exactly very high, I think we found a real breakthrough. A breakthrough in the spirit, in unity, as One. And perhaps this is the basis. Love is the movement, love is the basis of life. As I looked at people loving one another, my heart was warmed. Now I know, we're doing things right. It wouldn't make sense to grow in numbers if the foundation wasn't first made right. So now we've got a strengthened core, I believe that we're raring to go! We're ready to rock it out!

I learned so many things.

• If you're in a war that you can't escape, who would you rather be? A victim, a casualty of war? Or a conqueror? How about More Than A Conqueror?
• We do not trust God for what He can do, but for who He is.
• Grace is the only reason why we are here today

Last night, forgiveness found a way into my heart. The silence is finally broken. And why now, I don't yet know. I just know I did the right thing. It was such a poignant and dramatic scene, but it was cool.

All these happened in church.

Later, Ronald, Josh and I, along with other Megalifers, rushed down to the airport to send Shaun off to Brisbane. There were quite a lot of people. I'm going to miss him. Hope he settles down well.

Oh I had Parents Teacher meeting as well. Was not too scary as I imagined, because the teachers said good stuff. Yesterday was MsOng's last day :( Going to miss Language Arts lessons with her. Ah. Things will never be the same. I miss history lessons with MrYang you know. Haha.