Beyond The Noise

State of the life now

2009-12-17T00:46:00.002+08:00

Sooo, the holidays have been pretty boring besides working at Sitex as a sales promoter, with Delicia and Yu Rong who are really awesome people, and having a great supervisor and more than $300 bucks of cash, and a 8GB thumbdrive for a few days of leg-breaking work. And.. the best part is the experience. Whoo, dealing with all sorts of crazy people - PRCs who scream and shout, and use babies as pawns to try to get better deals, Indians who look for better deals elsewhere and come back just to show us and mock us for not being able to close deals. Then there are the nice ones - young secondary school Chinese scholar (so cute and innocent), Filipino man buying for girlfriend :)

Then, I got a lovebird, who is really sweet and intelligent. She can do a trick. That is, running through a hoop. Greeeedy lovebird! She only wants to get the treat. Haha.

Prayer is a two-way street

2009-12-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

Nuggets of truth from my good friend, Will:

Jesus is all knowing. He is always with you, and always knows whats happening. But he wants to hear it from you. This is why we pray and talk directly to Jesus.

That, I accept and have accepted as simple fact for a long time. However I just came up with an analogy that I think is rather suitable for it.

Take for instance, your friend on Facebook, Bob. You’ve known Bob since you were toddler playmates, you don’t live near each other anymore, rarely talk, but you’re friends on Facebook. From Facebook you gain a sense of what his schedule is like, you see pictures that he posts weekly from school for his grandparents and family, you see the posts and notes he’s tagged in, you see him write sad faces or happy faces, all of which give you a good perception of who he is, and what kind of mood he’s in. Even though you two haven’t talked for more than a year, you still know all about Bob. So why should you talk with Bob on the phone? Why should we take the time to leave Bob a message on his wall or Inbox?

Because Bob was a significant part of your lives. The two of you shared many memories from being little and watching each other grow up. And if the time came that Bob needed you, you’d be there in a moments notice. But still, you never talk to Bob and Bob never talks to you. So the possibility of a great friendship goes no where, and there’s nothing personal about it.

Thats how it is for us and Jesus. He knows all about what we’re doing, a hundred thousand times more than Facebook could ever tell him about us, but sometimes we don’t talk to him. Why is that? He knows how many hairs we have on our head, he knows how many blood cells are in our body, he knows how tall we are down to the smallest measurement possible. Yet still… We don’t take time to talk to him about how our day was.

Prayer is a two way conversation, take advantage of it.

How to remove your recycle bin off your desktop in Windows 7

2009-11-13T02:11:00.001+08:00

How to remove recycle bin off Windows 7 for a clean desktop.

1. Right click your desktop
2. Click Personalize
3. Click Desktop Icons
4. Uncheck the Recycle Bin option
5. Click okay

Voila! Clean Desktop!

Overthinking

2009-11-09T18:42:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I haven't been as happy as I used to be since that Friday.

Before whoever is reading this goes into a frenzy, and comes up to ask me whether I'm okay, let me tell you this: I am fine, I am still happy. I still see sunshine.

It's just that a few clouds are blocking the view. But still, I am thankful for the few who love me with everything they've got :)

Because I am too cool, I get betas.

2009-11-06T01:17:00.002+08:00

Got a Google Wave invite from Will the sunshine not too long ago, and I have to say, Wave is pretty fun, but it will be even more so if I get to Wave with more people.

I love getting my hands on betas and limited previews. When Gmail came out, I hunted the Internet till I got my hands on an invite from a kind soul - God bless his generous heart. At that time, Gmail was in a phase where people could only give out 5 invites each. Upon receiving this very rare, and prized possession, I couldn't help but let out a loud "WHOOHOOO!" How dramatic. Okay, I think you get my point.

Got my hands down and dirty when Yahoo Answers Beta was in its infancy, right before the sex-crazed desperados (read: horny guys who wanted non-personal virtual relationships) started asking silly questions. Back then, Yahoo Answers attracted a different breed - a breed of intelligent thinkers that questioned the workings of the world, and the axes the world turned on.

Then there was Joost. Gerard Vlemmings of the Presurfer kindly extended an invitation to beta. Online television that's doing pretty well now, pity my mediocre download speeds didn't do it justice.

The most happening thing this year was receiving Window.s 7 Professional from a friend, who got it way before the release date of October 2009. I think I got Win.dows 7 R.TM in September. For free. ($500 saved, ka-ching!) The best part is that it was legal because M.soft has a partnership program with various organisations. Friend, thank you very much :)

I'm a Mozilla Firefox beta-tester now. Which is actually pretty pointless and I do nothing.

Cut to the chase, having betas makes me feel special, because I get to see what the rest of the world doesn't. I'd share betas with you too :)

Batman Begins

2009-11-01T15:58:00.002+08:00

Batman Begins was one of the last movies I watched with you. Way back in 2005. I remember coming out of the cinema and going, whoa, that was good, and the mother and the sister couldn't even comprehend what went on during the movie.

Today I lived, but everyday so do you :)

The Lake House

2009-11-01T12:58:00.003+08:00

These days, I've been on movie sprees from my Hard Drive. I've watched Final Destination 3, Batman Begins, Idiocracy, Deja Vu, The Devil Wears Prada..

Today I watched The Lake House, for about the millionth time. And I have to admit that nowadays, I'm turning into a hopelessly romantic and sappy person. Which is both a good and a bad thing. Strange how my thoughts can oscillate between so many different things at once. Anyway, I love that movie, but The Dark Knight still is my favourite.

On the other hand, I had many meaningful conversations on Saturday night, taking the train home, the bus, and even the walk home with Evelyn that managed to dig up beautiful and memorable threads of the past. (Mission Trips, haha.)

Tired

2009-10-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

I am so tired of disappointing everyone I know.

Twinkle, Twinkle

2009-10-27T02:13:00.001+08:00

Twinkle, Twinkle

As I put the laundry out onto the balcony to dry, I tilted my head up and gazed at the night sky. With the light of the stars millions of years away twinkling in the distance, I could not help but feel that my problems are small. There’s a great universe out there, and my Creator holds it in His hands. At the moment, I felt infinite, because even though the darkness filled the night sky, the twinkling of the stars formed an unforced rhythm of hope, and a timely reminder that I live to be that little spark in this crooked and depraved world.

Balloons

2009-10-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Look how someone made my day by buying me two lovely balloons :)

When a parent's love is conditional

2009-10-24T21:02:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to have a good night last night, with the blue and white helium balloons I took home from the party, and the cute little memo pad and baby Eeyore stuffed toy that I received.

But the balloons ran out of air even before I could play with them. Funny, because I was looking forward to letting them bob around in my room. They are some of my favourite things.

Things don't turn out the way they are supposed to, and I am so disappointed when it becomes crystal clear to me that your love for me is conditional. I don't know what part of me isn't good enough for you. I'm not a bad kid. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't party or club. Still, I don't know what drives you to make irrational and upsetting decisions. It's not as if I don't try hard enough to live up to your expectations.

Do you notice my effort? Even at all? You've crossed the line, you've passed the breaking point. The end.

Out of the storm

2009-10-18T00:42:00.003+08:00

Had a rough day on Friday, where everything just seemed to go wrong, harsh words were spoken, feelings hurt.

When I stepped into the Worship Centre, honestly, I was feeling terrible, but I still gave God my best in worship, because worship is all about forgetting what is wrong with you, and remembering what is right with God.

But Friday's over, and it ended well, thankfully :) Thank God for friends, Thank God for forgiveness and thank God for the joy and hope that He gives.

He's my safe refuge in the storm.

2009-10-12T22:34:00.001+08:00

I woke up today and the first thing that I did was check my phone
No message equals no love

So onto my laptop with facebook and email
I’m searching for some sort of connection
though I’m not sure if I found it

My email tells me that Sweet Susan can help me last longer
Facebook wants me to know that Mike is still drunk from last night
at seven in the evening

I scan through all of my friends pages
I know everything that’s going on
but really, I know nothing

Do I actually need to care about your throbbing head or your favourite lyrics?
I don’t want to join a group for people who ‘will slightly alter their course to step on a crunchy leaf”

I am sick of being surrounded yet alone

But this is the problem you see?

We have so much information, so many facts that get pound-ed in-to our HEADS!
WE KNOW EVERYTHING
Yet we do nothing

Save the whales
Support Fair-trade
Use renewable energy sources
Stop genocide
End the war
Support the war

We are being diluted to such an extent that no longer are we empowered to make a difference
We are being NUMBED to the needs of the world
our experience of being alone is convincing us that THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO

We are oblivious to the unique power of the individual
Blind to the inner fire that burns with a passion for change, for life

At the heart of it all
I ask myself the question

What can I do?

-Mark Anderson

Life starts again

2009-10-11T23:50:00.002+08:00

I am grateful that the exams are over, and that I get to spend good, quality time with friends. Headed to Indoor Stadium after cell today and caught the Singapore Slingers VS Brunei Barracudas playing basketball. It was pretty amusing. Not NBA standard, but much better than Inter-Schools.

Will be going to Doulos tomorrow.

A letter to myself

2009-10-11T23:38:00.001+08:00

Dearest self,

Make the most of your life. I know you have great dreams which you sometimes think are too lofty. But I urge you to pursue them. You can change the world.

Take life’s challenges in your stride and always keep your face to the Son. Because He saves, He changes, He loves and redeems. Never let the darkness get at you.

Treasure your friends. Spend quality time with them. Be there for them when they need you, not for any other selfish reason, but just simply because you care.

Keep pressing on in school, keep persevering. Even though it may seem like a hellhole to you, because of the tremendous amount of stress and expectations placed on you, go into school knowing that you can do it. You can make the experience better, if you don’t let it drag you down, and choose to stay positive.

Continue encouraging and inspiring others in the tiny things that you do. Don’t give up hope because the world doesn’t seem to care. Always believe in the power of one.

Create things. Do art. Run in the rain. Travel the world. Speak to different people. Be bold. Take risks. Relish challenges.

You can be the change in the fallen and depraved world you live in. Go, you! I believe in you. And I believe in others.

I believe in God and His everlasting love, and I hope that you will love Him as much, and even more as you grow older.

Love,

Self.

No school for the past two days

2009-09-15T16:34:00.002+08:00

Didn't go to school so that I could:

Be socially responsible
Rest so that I could get well

The mother found out and went ballistic.

Hey, it’s not my fault. I’m the one with no voice, no sense of smell/taste, hot forehead. It doesn’t make sense to go and spread these pesky germs to others, and let the virus swarm the epithelial linings of schoolmates’ throats and lungs.

Dear The Mother. Sometimes I do things because I’m terrified of you. Also, because you don’t really give two hoots about me. I’m sad to say this, but I think you care more about my academics than my health.

Do you seriously think I like being sick? And not able to taste anything at all? Heck, you could make me drink urine and I wouldn't know. I hate Green Tea but yesterday I drank some and it was bearable. Why? Because I can't taste. The past few days I've been eating nothing but Chicken Porridge. Not your choice, but my own, so that I can recover quickly. Don't you think I'm making an effort?

Tell me, is this fun? Is this fun? Is this fun? NO IT ISN'T. Stop making me find reasons not to like you. I'm so near there.

Patient

2009-09-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Finally I came around to getting my nose checked, it's been giving me trouble. All the pesky sneezes and runny nose episodes.

Part One: Shoving an metal contraption up my nose
The Caucasian looking and sounding doctor with a Chinese last name (David Lau) sprayed local anasthetic into my nostrils, and proceded to put a endoscope to have a view inside my gross nostrils. It was really uncomfortable. Ick.

Part Two: Pricking me with allergens
I went to another room. Hola, nurse! She was pretty friendly, she explained the procedure to me, then pricked me with serrated plastic bits which had ends dipped in allergens to find out which ones I was allergic to. So, 24 allergens ranging from pollen, mold to dustmites and cat fur were pricked into my arms. As well as a positive and negative test. I had to wait for 20 minutes, while I watched a corny 1980s video on "how to allergy-proof your home".

Diagnosis: I'm allergic to dust mites, cockroaches and dogs. Not telling my mum about the dogs bit though. I love dogs to bits, and besides, I'm only mildly allergic to them.

Part Three: True Blood. Kidding. The Blood Test
I may sound crazy, but since this is the first time in my conscious life that I've seen my blood being drawn from my arms, I think it's really exciting. I'm the type to watch. I'm not afraid of needles at all. The sight of red blood rushing into a vial is pretty amazing. I want to donate blood soon :)

Seeing the doc again after exams for a final diagnosis. But for now, it's just allergic rhinitis.

Maybe I should allergy-proof my room.

2009-08-30T22:13:00.001+08:00

Children

2009-08-27T17:08:00.001+08:00

“I’m jealous of children. I envy them.”
You said.

I asked you why.

“Because their pockets are empty. They don’t need to carry anything. No cell phones, wallets, car keys, cigarettes, lighters, iPods… you know what I mean? They’re free. As we get older, we give ourselves more and more things to worry about. To lose. Reasons to pat our pockets in a panic in case we’re missing something. A list to run through in our head before we walk out the front door. That’s why I envy children.”

I nodded and finished my drink, wondering if I had my wallet with me.

- Pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

The Message

2009-08-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

I borrowed The Message and it looks like I'm going to have a lot of fun reading it. Not used to reading the Bible in such modernised language, with verses like " vault of my heart" and such, but this is going to be cool.

And! I missed the meteor shower last night. Anyway, Shawn, if you ever read this, Happy Birthday :)

2009-07-31T00:30:00.001+08:00

On August 7th 2009 at 34 minutes and 56 seconds past 12...the time and date will read... 12:34:56 07/08/09 123456789 This won't happen again for another thousand years.

Under the ewather

2009-07-28T23:21:00.001+08:00

Apparently I have tons of work to do but I'm feeling so sick and tired that I can't process anything at all. It's like my body refuses to cooperate or something. It doesn't help that mum keeps screaming at me.

2009-07-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

Calm down calm down

AJUhgisdughIGFuhwifhaufjag GHjsbvsdhgbaghjasbfajkfafkjahfoaiukh ghjnsbvhbfnqoifhgjniwkjgneugjik DBhdjaVFAHJvbBVUJDF

I just had to do that.

2009-07-22T14:16:00.000+08:00

“Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” - Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Rain Down

2009-07-20T21:36:00.001+08:00

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

- For The Moments I Feel Faint by Relient K.

I did badly for Mid-Years. I need you, God.

But otherwise, I love the work you're doing in our church, in our cell. <3

Bookssss

2009-07-19T16:01:00.001+08:00

To Buy:

Wired For Worship by Louie Gigolo
In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson

2009-07-12T00:48:00.000+08:00

An Excerpt from Louie Giglio’s book, “Wired: For a Life of Worship.”

"Drop in on a concert at the local arena or go to a sporting event at a nearby stadium and you will see amazing worship. People are going for it, lifting their hands, shouting like crazy, staking their claim, standing in awe, declaring their allegiance. Interestingly, these venues are filled with the same forms of worship mentioned in God’s Word - the same expressions of worship that God desires and deserves.

A while back, watching an interview Oprah was doing with Michael Jackson in the prime of his career, I was stunned with the reality of this truth. What I witnessed as she showed a video clip of people responding to him in concert settings around the world absolutely floored me. Talk about amazing worship!

In multiple cultures, mobs of people numbering into the hundreds of thousands were glued as one to his every move. On every continent they gathered like an army, waving their hands in the air. Some fell to their knees. Others strained with out-stretched hands, hoping for a brief touch from his. Seared in my mind is the image of one young girl with a look on her face of total awe.
I couldn’t believe it. What I was watching was some of the most intense worship I’d ever seen…anywhere. Far more “full-on” than much of what I’d experienced inside the church.

And for what? Granted, Michael Jackson was a living legend when it came to entertainment, but he’s not a great god. Not even close. Yet the worship was phenomenal, demonstrating the God-given capacity for adoration that is rooted in the soul of every man.”

The question comes up, why does every person pour out their adoration onto anything but the God who gave them that passion? My thoughts are simple…I feel there are two reasons. We seek tangibility…something to place high that we can see, comprehend, feel, etc. Also, by putting such adoration into something earthly we don’t really have to work. Say a celebrity…to worship them, you don’t have to give them anything other than your praise and they will return the favor by perhaps releasing more songs or movies. When it comes to God, man often feels guilty when “worshiping” without having put in the work He requests of us.

Remember, Adoration is rooted in the soul of every man, so ask yourself…Where are you placing yours?

B & E

2009-07-11T02:35:00.002+08:00

My friend from the States emailed me a story he wrote to cheer me on for my exams. It was called the tale of Bellezza and Enkle (silly made-up names that he thought of). Here's an excerpt:

"In an attempt to ruin the friendship Google used a powerful curse to control the head of Bellezza's school. Google made Bellezza's school do exams, and made all of these exams extremly difficult so the Bellezza had to spend all day, 14 hours or more, inside of the school. Seeing as Enkle lived in the US and it was the height of their heat filled summer Google was sure that he would be out of school and on the edge of devastating complete boredom, Google hoped that Enkle would resort to finding a real life and forgetting all about Princess Bellezza. But the almighty Google didn't count on the power of friendship, one which Bellezza and Enkle had formed. "

Will is the sweetest, really.

State of The Life, Now

2009-07-01T12:49:00.003+08:00

Right now, I miss MFP,
and I wish I can fly to Arizona and/or Georgia to see my fabulous friends. (That's almost 15000km away!)
I have bad stomach pains. Feels as though there's an alien with a knife in my abdomen haplessly cutting up my insides.
I don't really like blogging anymore.
I'm going home to rest, then study.

I miss MegaLife.

2009-06-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.
- Rich Mullins

numbers

2009-06-22T17:28:00.000+08:00

From a friend's blog..

Numbers.

this world seems particularly fond of them.

and sometimes i fall into the trap of arithmetic. and think that i am a series of numbers, ratings, percentages.

that value is just a fancy word for number.

it would be so easy to look at my weight and feel my value grow as the scale shrinks

look at my exam marks and feel the weight of my future resting on my percentages.

look at my class rankings and feel like i am above or below people.

feel grown up because of the candles i blow out on my birthday cake.

feel disabled because of the fleeting figure in my bank account.

feel broken because of the number of scars i have.

feel like a failure because my blood test told me my readings are too high.

feel unique because of the number of songs i have on my ipod.

feel popular because of the number of facebook friends i have.

my phone number my student number my account number

7225214311.2112499831231201251878850476.

i am not a number

2009-06-14T04:41:00.002+08:00

Thoughts..

2009-06-13T23:11:00.002+08:00

This is from my friend Will. I thought it made a lot of sense.

"FUCK.

Did you flinch when you read that? Cringe? Worry about getting in trouble at all? Double take the word and think it isn’t very nice?

No? I thought so…

Remember when you used to flinch, cringe, worry, and double take?

I was listening to “Photograph” by Nickelback the other day… The lyrics are: “And what the hell is on Joey’s head?” The CD I was listening to, I got from my aunt when I went to DC for a week over Spring Break when I was 13. A certain nostaglia came over me from the CD itself, and the song… As the song played, I remembered that it used to kinda bug me that the word “Hell” was there.

It occurred to me… That it doesn’t bug me anymore… and that bugs me. I can say/write and hear/read curse words and not flinch… Not even think about it.

What is it about this numbness that has overcome us? It’s with everything too… Curse words, sex, crimes, deaths… Everything. It makes me so sad. We just sit back, and don’t care. We’ll say: “Oh how said for those poor people” But it doesn’t really affect us…

Why not? What is it that creates this numbness in us…? Hmm… I’d like to see it end. -nods-

It isn’t right, world. Just so you know. I want my numbness to end, I want to cringe and flinch and double take what was said when something bad is said… I don’t want it to fly past me as if it’s just another word….."

For the record, I don't use this word. I never have :) I sound so goody-two-shoes. But I wish people stopped flinging words like these around as and when they like.

2009-06-08T22:55:00.001+08:00

At the end of the day

2009-06-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

At the end of the day, you'll always know who are the ones who love you the most :)

On an unrelated note,

Today a misstep down a double kerb send me sprawling on the first out of four lanes on a road. Thank goodness there were no cars approaching quickly in the lane, and that I picked myself up fast.

A taxi driver honked very loudly at me, and probably guffawed as he went by. Sure, I laughed a lot as well, but come to think of it, I was very lucky I didn’t become roadkill.

Dear Girls

2009-06-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

Don’t ever let anyone talk down to you. Don’t let the images of airbrushed women in the magazines dent your self-confidence. Don’t listen to the lies of the media that skinny is beautiful.

Hear this right. You are a somebody, you are loved, and you are special. And no one can take that away from you except yourself. Beauty is something that shines out from your heart and manifests itself in your actions :)

Don’t belittle yourself. You Are Beautiful.

NAPFA 2009

2009-05-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

This year I wasn't feeling well on two PE weeks, and hence I did my NAPFA in a different way. Today was my second 5 stations. The PE Dept forced me to retake because I had a one week lapse in between.

(4) 2.4km: 14:45
(5) Sit-ups: 43
(5) Inclined Pull Ups: 21
(5) Shuttle Run: 10.7
(5) Sit and reach: 59
(5) Standing Broad Jump: 195

The evil run was the only reason I didn't manage a perfect 30. I missed by 16 seconds, so.. I slacked off in my sit-ups. IPU - Mr Yong was really lenient. Shuttle Run this year sucked - I cleared my run last year in girl ownage time of 10.3, so 10.7 is bad ): Sit and Reach good, SBJ 5 cm off last years.

Not bad, considering that I haven't trained in the longest of times. I realised that I thought that I got 29 points last year, but in actual fact I attained a perfect 30 :)

Dragon Tales

2009-05-25T22:04:00.001+08:00

I wish I had a 30 hour day

2009-05-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

I wish every day had more than 24 hours. So many things to do, so little time.

The God I Know

2009-05-16T22:57:00.001+08:00

When the stage is bare tonight
There's no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There's no pretense
I'm on my knees

Online Productivity

2009-05-12T23:54:00.002+08:00

I fail miserably at online productivity - but today I managed to complete a lot of things, miraculously. And my Meetimer is telling me I spent 1h 56 min today procrastinating. Great, Janel, great.

On the other hand, I've found a community which will quickly replace Twitter, hurrah. I'm again on the bandwagon first, and this site will be big in 6 months, take my word for it. Right now I'm establishing myself there first :)

Today I turned I self-declare myself a typography nut. Or at least I'm becoming one. I love the World Wide Web. I love design. I love how words beautifully fall into nice sentences.

P.S. Go get the font Museo. It's pretty. Yay for Sans Serif fonts, I'm sick of act cutesy fonts, like today in Biology Lecture. My eyes....

The S34 Gang

2009-05-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Part of my lovely class which never fails to make days interesting and bright :)

Birthday 2009

2009-05-04T21:57:00.002+08:00

Seventeen, alive, kicking and well :)

Thank you all for the sweet cards/ surprises and wishes. Cards make me so happy compared to anything else in the world, as well as creative gifts that I can see the effort put in. I love birthdays. I'll expand this post soon with more thoughts, once I clear this crazy week..

I love you all!

Coffeeshop Conversations

2009-04-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, all you need is a listening ear :) Coffeeshop conversations. I learnt so much.

Slow Dance

2009-04-27T23:21:00.001+08:00

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down,

Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short,

The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day

Or do you fly?

When you ask, “How are you?”

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You’d better slow down,

Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short,

The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,

“We’ll do it tomorrow?”

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch

Let a good friendship die

‘Cause you never had time

To call and say, “Hi?”

You’d better show down,

Don’t dance too fast.

Time is short,

The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through

your day,

It is like an unopened gift…

Thrown away.

Life is not a race,

Do take it slower.

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

- Poem by a cancer-stricken kid

Today, today, it's all or nothing

2009-04-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

It dawned upon me during class today what this part of Take It All really meant - that either you give your all, or you give nothing at all. And that means that in whatever we do, we do it for God, we walk it His way - anything else amounts to nothing.

TODAY TODAY IT'S ALL OR NOTHING

I must have been blind to singing this song and not grasping the whole meaning. I always assumed it meant praise, but I forgot that praise comes together with the way you lead your life.

So take it all :)

Being Seven

2009-04-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

When you run out of the ocean and into the towel your father holds out for you, fluffy and warm from the sun, and you are wrapped up in it, scooped up in his strong arms and carried laughing, shivering when the wind hits your wet skin, to where your mother sits with the baby and the hot sun dries salt water summer highlights into your hair while you sit with your toes in the sand and the towel around your shoulders watching the big kids chase after summer love.

Between The Traffic and the Ordinary Sounds

2009-04-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

I haven't been online here for so long. I've decided to step down from a CCA which I love dearly after serving 2 terms as an Exco member - PA Crew. Somehow the Cost Benefit no longer works out and I feel that it's time to move on to different things.

School just keeps getting more and more hectic. So many times I want to go out with friends, I can't, due to commitments. And I still haven't kicked into the Mid Year Exam stress mode yet. Which I have no idea is a good or bad thing. Strangely, I have lost my blogging flair and since probably no one reads this blog, I might close it down. Let's see about it.

Turning 17 in a matter of less than 2 weeks. I feel so old.

Dear Janel: Your way or God's?

It's a New Day, But it all feels old

2009-04-04T00:11:00.001+08:00

I think Domokun is the cutest thing to happen in a long time.

Let Your Love Be Strong

2009-04-02T22:38:00.000+08:00

I hereby declare that I've just received one of the best surprises ever :) I am so very happy!

Everyone Overcome

2009-03-29T22:31:00.003+08:00

I've had a sleepy and tiring weekend waking up at 630am to reach Raymond's house at 730am. I got totally knocked out when I got home just now and I slept, so I technically didn't manage to complete much work over the weekend. I'm taking a slack break now, though I should be doing some studying. But after a total of 3.5 hours at Math today, I just got to take a break! I wanna meet up with people this week! And urgh, there's PI draft to do still.

Hold Fast To The Break Of Daylight

2009-03-27T22:31:00.004+08:00

I am extremely annoyed at my lack of ability to write well in the past few months. After spending slightly more than half an hour reading my archives, I am sad to say that the quality of my writing is going down the drain, so here I am, blogging again.

Strangely, the same thing is happening in school for my essays. I can't help but feel that GP is a highly dumbed down version of Language Arts, the subject that I miss very much. Content covered in a GP lesson is so little compared to what is covered in a Language Arts lesson. Though I qualified to take KI, I didn't. I think KI is fun to debate or think about during a boring bus ride, but critically think, and be graded for that doesn't go down too well with me. In a sense, GP is the lesser of two evils. I'm banking on an A for GP at the A levels and I'll work hard for it.

My close friend says sometimes, I overcommit, which means I take too many things into my hands and then realise I'm extremely busy. A good example is going to be my June Holidays. They haven't even started and I've got three camps lined up already.

The Key for my life this month is reorganise, reshuffle, rethink. But no matter how much of those I do, there are some things that just will remain constant. It's all about the people, the friendships & relationships that I will fight to keep, despite how busy I am. As well as the only constant amidst all the change - God.

In the past week, a lot of people close to me have been going through their own little crises. All I want to say to you all is that I'm always here if you need a listening ear, though I might not be the best person to give advice, I'll hear you out :) Hang in there, and come out strong.

On a side note, I visited the gym yesterday, for the first time in ages and I'm so glad my strength hasn't deproved as much as I expected it to.. Phew.

Pooh

2009-03-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- Winnie the Pooh”

Welcome to Existence

2009-03-23T23:51:00.003+08:00

What right do we have to judge others when we ourselves are imperfect?

Hmmmm, just pondering.
"how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye?"

Viva Las Vegas

2009-03-23T21:16:00.002+08:00

A conversation with a friend :)

Borrowed this from Phocks.

How Long To Sing This Song

2009-03-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Duchess Melissa! Hahaha.

From Facebook:

1. I really, really don't like to use Singlish. I try my best to correct my English to make it perfect.

2. I had a happening life in Primary School. In Primary 6, I was a BUS MONITOR (Yes my school had such ridiculous posts!), Prefect and a House Captain.

3. I used to reach Secondary School at 6:40 in the morning just to use the class computer, since my mum only let me use the home computer on weekends.

4. Soccer was my life in Primary 5 & 6. Albeit on a smaller pitch. I used to play soccer every day before school, after school, during recess, with a bunch of crazy girls. But I don't really play anymore and I probably can't kick for nuts now. Oh I played goalkeeper and defense. (Was offered a place on VJ Girls' Soccer but nah, not my kind of thing to keep short hair and train like crazy).

5. I have friends from all over the world! From Czech Republic, Netherlands, Finland, Indonesia, Australia, UK, and USA. But the best of them all would probably be Joshy :) We knew each other when we were like 11.

6. I loved catching spiders when I was young. All the other girls would be screaming and I'd be there with a plastic container going "Gotcha!"

7. I currently have a bad habit of taking ages to reply text messages. Ooops sorry yes I know!

8. I love to travel. When I get the chance and the cash to, I'd like to go backpacking. I'd rather stay in Backpacker's Hostels than hotels for the interaction that I can get.

9. I like kayaking, cycling, climbing, gym, basketball, trekking, camping. I have a great set of abdominal muscles that can own weak guys any day! Hahaha, I average around 48 sit ups within a minute? Not bad huh.

10. Food is always good! I eat a lot, but I try my best to eat healthy, for the sake of my future. I try not to drink carbonated drinks when I can. And I can't remember the last time I held a bag of chips in my hands. If I'm bored, I buy food. I eat 2 times the amount an average girl eats. But strangely I never grow much bigger.

11. I love dogs. And Budgies. My two favourite animals. I have an "adopted" dog which I bring out for walks now and then. But he doesn't stay at my house.

12. I used to read Engadget everyday. To the point where I was so much more updated about IT news than Digital Life in the Straits Times! Yeah, what a geek, haha. My friends used to laugh at me about that.

13. Speaking of geekyness, I went to 3 out of 4 PC Shows last year and I am planning yet another one in March.

14. I don't understand why girls obsess over hot guys. I mean, get over it already! Hot guys aren't necessarily nice or fun.

15. I introduced a lot of people to this evil little thing called Facebook. It's not that evil, I love Facebook to bits.

16. Even though I'm in the Science Faculty now, I'm going to do the big switch to Arts & Social Sciences when I get to Uni. No point spending my life in a lab. Boring. On the cards are Psych, Politics and Sociology.

17. I am selectively extroverted. In some situations I just clam up and shut myself out (but that happens really rarely when I feel extremely threatened), but in most I am a happy little social butterfly.

18. I am an optimist and I was only sad for 2 days out of the whole of 2008. Almost always happy. Because I'm thankful enough for life as it is.

19. I secretly wish to be a motorcyclist. But the most important people in my life probably wouldn't let me, they don't want me to become roadkill. "Car bangs motorcycle, who dies?"

20. My favourite superhero is Batman. I've got comics from the 80's about Batman. Super cool I tell you. A movie sized poster from The Dark Knight is in my room. Also, I have a Dark Knight bobblehead. Thanks to my wonderful friend who knows how much I like Batman! Yeah and I'm going to watch it when it reruns in the cinemas later this month. Whoopee.

21. I enjoy exploring Singapore. You never know how many cool places there are until you step out and go visiting. Go to the Southern Ridges for a good walk, Farmart to buy things at the Farmer's Market, walk around during the F1 season when the CBD's roads are closed, go to Pulau Ubin (but don't fall down!)

22. I always feel older than my age. Why?

23. I need to read the newspapers everyday, even when I am overseas. I am such a nerd.

24. I'm still pretty much the same person that I was. ENFP, IS on the DISC tests.

25. I love my God :) He is the reason I do the things I do.

-
To live is Christ, and to die is gain.

I've found a place

2009-03-22T23:53:00.002+08:00

School starts tomorrow, and hopefully my next term is less busy, with fewer adjustments to be made. Few thoughts -

I want to go to the gym.
I want to play guitar.
I should blog more.

Only One

2009-03-13T22:51:00.002+08:00

Through forgotten convictions
Misplaced affections
I'm losing the sound of Your voice
I've been chasing after emptiness
Trying to tidy up this mess
I swear I've been down this road before
I want to get back to where it all began
When I would long for only You

Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?

I've lost sight of what first drew me
To the love that pursued me
The joy that inspired my song
The friendship that was all I knew
The arms that I would fall into
Seem miles and years from where I am today
I got to get back to where it all began
When I would wait for only You

Can I stay here forever
Here with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I'll stay
Always here with You

Can I be here forever
Here with You?
Can I know what it's like
To deeply love You?
Always, Lord, let me stay
Always, here with You

Dont burn out

2009-03-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

I'm using some of my time to type this out to record my life. It's been a busy week, and it's only going to get busier. On Tuesday after school Claire and I went out impromptu to Suntec, walked around for awhile, then took a bus back home. Thursday was Kelvin and Bao Fang's birthday, some of us went to Swensens to celebrate. Headed back home to bathe, returned to school at about 9pm and played Bluff at the Treehouse with S34. Watched people play badminton from 10-11plus in the hall, then the girls went to the bunks at V35 and attempted to do Biology practical. Ended up talking until 230am in the morning, fell asleep, woke up at 445am. It was BYOM (bring your own maggi) so we ate noodles for breakfast at 530am. Attempted to do Bio again, talked, went to run 1km for VOG (the last lap). The rest of our class came at 630am. VOG was a bit weird but ok I guess. DARE 2 briefing, took a bath before going to Suntec to meet laoren to go IT Show.

I've got tons of homework. And from now till school opens again, which is 9 days, I'm only spending 2 at home. That's why I'm doing my homework tonight.

Saturday
CTC Pre-Camp, meeting my group from 730am
Ta.oNanPri Pre-Camp till 1030pm

Sunday
Homework day!

Monday, Tuesday
PA Crew Camp

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
CTC Camp

Saturday
DARE 2, Megalife

Sunday
Homework Day!

Whoohoooo. The holidays are really daunting. Back to homework now for me. I hereby proclaim that this is the worst post I've ever written. Horrible English and sentence structure!

Despite being busy I'm happy though :) The people I'm doing what I do with make it all worthwhile.

Rush

2009-03-03T22:50:00.001+08:00

I received a call from YY today haha so exciting A level results are going to be out! =) Hope all my 19-year-old buddies do well. Crew mates, OG mates, church people.

School's getting busy.

Let Go and Let God

2009-02-23T22:33:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, you have to make your own decisions, which lead to consequences. I get so worried sometimes, because of all the pressure my mum puts on me academically, but in the end, it's the same. Let go, and let God :) I've gotta work hard, do my best and He will do the rest!

2009 I'm going to tackle you right!

You are my everything

2009-02-23T22:25:00.002+08:00

Lost track somehow, somewhere along the way, but I'm getting back on. The 50 days thing will really help.

Met Rachel Soh on the bus today, celebrated the Jan / Feb babies' birthdays as well as Jason's. I am going to drop a CCA that I shan't name here yet as part of my reshufflement plans. Schoolwork is piling up now and I've got really very little time, I'm trying to balance my personal / school / church life. But after these few weeks, I'll get used to it. But I kind of figured out what I want, what's going to be my priority already.

I'm really waiting for my schedule to firm up so I can start hitting the gym again. I need to exercise firstly, and secondly, spend time with my good gym friend.

Shaun's leaving this week! Boo :(

How we have grown

2009-02-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

Through the years
We all will be together
If the Lord allows
Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bough

How we have grown, are growing, and still will grow. I'm amazed how time matures us!

Let The Praises Ring

2009-02-16T21:52:00.002+08:00

I'm almost settling in to my first real week of JC life, and I've got to say that it is way different from IP life. Lectures and tutorials just zoom by you with so little time for interaction - teaching speed is definitely much faster! I am really happy with my new class, they are a great and crazy as well as highly entertaining bunch. I am so lucky to have such great classmates. We have far too many breaks and a ridiculous timetable which causes us to waste a lot (and I mean a lot) of time.

I'm forseeing myself being a lot more involved in college life this year - yay more fun! I'm still considering major shifts in what I do.

My class' guys are pretty sweet - there are 9 of them, 18 girls. So each of them bought two flowers on Valentine's day and gave it to two girls, so all the girls in our class had flowers. Awwww.

Haha. Life's good.

Schoool.

2009-02-10T21:46:00.003+08:00

This year looks like it's going to be real fun with a nice class, a great Civics Tutor and a pretty happy bunch of people. I just discovered that (Alys)SA is in my senior class :) Had lunch at Thaipan, and a gross eat-food-game which was pretty funny. Chem's going to be the first lesson of my JC life. Hope it's good :)

Lol Marc and Ed said my eyes look shinier with contacts hahahaha.

Updates on Life

2009-02-09T23:32:00.001+08:00

Updates on life: I fell sick last week.

I love my sub og, IV5.
I like my new class, 09S34 a lot.
I have amazing friends.

I think life looks good :)

Hmmm

2009-01-27T23:22:00.001+08:00

Because the treasure should be treasured.

I always seem to be talking in riddles somehow. Does that bemuse you? Random warblings, sentences out of nowhere. This is me.

Ack school tomorrow! At least we're going on an excursion..

I used to rule the world

2009-01-26T00:19:00.002+08:00

Today

1) Banged my leg against my bedpost and obtained a scrape on my skin. Ouch.
2) Counted the number of oranges in my house. 40. (Then my mum gave some away). I was freaking out because I thought of the Chinese New Year aftermath - oranges everyday, yikes!
3) Reunion dinner @ Excelsior, had to endure stupid "do you have a boyfriend?", "what is IP?", "when are you having A levels?" questions. But food was good, thankfully. I think adults are weird. One moment they say: "When are you going to get a boyfriend?" & the next moment they go, "Wah, you want to marry at 25? So early? That's the time you should start dating, bla bla bla...." Odd huh. Oh I drank some dry red wine, which sucked, since I like white wine more. So I gave the whole glass to my younger sister. First time she drank alcohol, because no one ever drinks in my house anyway.
4) Played a whole lot of Tri Solitaire and Snafu Tower Defense as well as bummed around on Pet Society.
5) Tagged people in albums on Facebook
6) Stumble Upon-ed
7) Computer Maintainence - Defrag Ext HDD, File Sort, iPod backups via SharePod

Chubby Checker says, do the twist

2009-01-24T16:25:00.001+08:00

I've been blog-hopping today. It's pretty interesting to read blogs because they open a window into people's thoughts and their other lives. I have this theory that there are many facets to a person - different "lives" he or she lives. And that no one except the person himself will ever know every single facet of his life.

Anyway. Some people are downright superficial on their blogs, it scares me. And I still don't understand why people are emotional and dark on their blogs too. Hmmm. For me, it's happy most of the time. I like reading encouraging, happy and well written blogs. Do you?

I've said this before

2009-01-19T21:32:00.004+08:00

From Mark Conner's blog

"Have you ever been to a really bad movie? I’m sure you have. Did you go see it again? Of course not! Did you buy the DVD? Come on ... Why would you watch through something you didn’t like all over again! That would be silly.

But in reality that’s something we all do from time to time. Have you ever done something you regretted? Have you ever had someone really hurt you? Did you find yourself replaying it over and over again in your mind? Some people even replay it in high definition ... in surround sound ... and even in slow motion! In doing so, they relive all of the negative emotions and bring the hurtful situation to life all over again.

Don’t do that. Don’t live in the past. Don’t replay things that you regret or things that were hurtful. Forgive yourself and forgive others ... then move on. Don’t live in the past. Don’t relive the pain. You can let go. Yes, it was bad. Yes, it was wrong ... but you don’t have to replay it over and over again. Focus on today ... and what’s coming in the future.

Move on – think about it."

I've said this before, and I am going to say this again. So many people are stuck in this vicious entropy, a menacing cycle just because they don't want to forget the things which have happened. Don't live for the then. Live for the now, not the past, because the now's in our hands, and the future's God's :)

By the way, Mark Conner's posts are so inspiring, they beat any self-help writer hands down. To me, he's so much better than bloggers like Seth Godin. Seen him preach live, and I just love his clarity and structure to what he's talking about. He knows his stuff.

On a random note, I am so relieved after today that one of the scariest things that could have happened to me did not!

Warblings on a random note!

2009-01-14T22:10:00.004+08:00

This is a rather incoherent post but I'm just chucking random thoughts about myself into this page. It's only going to be here for as long as I want it to be. It'll probably be off by the end of this month.

Hello I am Janel and I am an ENFP for the millionth time. I really like to eat food but recently I've been cutting down because even though I don't really grow fat, too much is not healthy. I need to go to the gym soon. I miss the gym and my gym partner. My favourite foods are uncountable but if you must know, I like pizza (especially thin crust, pepperoni), hainanese chicken rice, pasta, indian rojak. I consider myself a carnivore by choice. Out of my free will, I love meat. But I still eat vegetables at the bidding of my mother and friends.

I love the arts. Theatre, paintings, interactive arts and the like. I like watching dance, but I don't quite agree with the thought of myself dancing - jiggity jig anyone? I love music, especially guitars. I don't really fancy bass guitar but I am a sucker for acoustic. So next time I'll marry someone who knows how to play a guitar. Ha. I used to play the piano, keyboard, and a recorder. My face is somewhere in an MOE video - the kind that they show Primary School children. I think it was of me showing how I made a tambourine out of can tabs, string and a frisbee. That worked pretty well. I still can't believe my face has been broadcast to poor little kids who have to endure lame videos in their music lessons. At least I didn't appear in one on sexuality education, phew.

I adore English - the language. But I dislike literature. I don't know how that works out but maybe it's because as Ben says, I like more logical language as opposed to flowery and emotional words. Then again, I might do psych in the future, so word analysis might be useful.

Another thing. I'm really odd, because girls are supposed to have faces that light up when they receive flowers. Mine doesn't. I always wonder why. It's not that I'm not romantic but flowers just don't appeal to me. Though some of my friends say that it will come to me in time. Balloons do make my day.

Lastly, to end this off. I am so glad that I got a B3 for Higher Chinese, it's really by God's grace that I see myself doing better than people who have been scoring 10-15 marks above me throughout my entire IP life. For the uneducated about my background in Chinese education, I used to do Express Chinese in Lower Secondary and fail that. And in IP I was one of the last few in class constantly. Looks like the hard work, coupled with a touch of God paid off :)

I love my life and I could never be grateful enough for who I am and where I've come.

Deciphering Me

2009-01-14T11:57:00.004+08:00

The past three days have been pretty exciting (only after school of course).

Embraced my inner art-lover on Monday and Tuesday. Caught 3some at the Esplanade Theatre Studio. It was pretty alright, strikingly postmodern: Participative - the viewer is involved in the creation of the text, Irreverent - poking fun at some of the habits of Jews/Germans, Play - Very casual. I love art. When I was watching 3some, so many of my Language Arts theories came back to me - it pays to have studied the Arts for my final term exams. I loved the way they ended the show, the Israeli taking a cart full of items are artistically throwing them all over the stage. But something a bit disturbing was the fact that the German took off his clothes and underwear, mooning us. And I saw something that I shouldn't see! Like his balls. Eyes burned.

3some was the perfect example of Reader Response: In which a reader holds the key to the artwork in terms of how he interprets it. Stanley Fish's Interpretive Communities where the reader projects his self-understanding onto the text, or his assumptions which are culturally determined.

Dialogue session question: What is one meaning you want to leave behind?
Answer from the German, Knut Berger: (something along the lines of) We don't want to have a single message. The purpose of creating this is so that the audience can take home what they understand from their perspective. If we wanted to leave a single message, we would have explicitly written it on the screen...

I wish I'd signed up earlier as a volunteer for the Fringe -which rocks!
-

Went to Mutsugoto @ Arts House on Tuesday with my favourite person and a short 10 minutes or so was spent there, then we headed to Asian Civilisations Museum for the lack of a better thing to do. It's extremely Asian with Chinese, Indian galleries but there were a few interactive exhibits which amused us. Thereafter, shopping at Suntec!

The Beautiful Letdown

2009-01-11T22:53:00.001+08:00

Walk it His way :)

A candle loses nothing

2009-01-05T20:46:00.002+08:00

At the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants — all physically or mentally disabled — assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.

At the gun, they all started out not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back — every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better."

Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood. The cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know this one thing:

What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves.

What matters in this life is helping others win, even
if it means slowing down and changing our course.

Remember:

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
-

On a seperate note, I was thinking lately about the differences between facts and truth. So I probed around on Yahoo Answers and I like this one most. I had asked, which is better, facts or truth? Received 40 replies, and I like this best.

Truth. Facts, are what we see as true. Truth is unchangeable.

Source: "I am the Way the Truth and the Light, no man comes to the Father but by me."

Which brings us back to in the bible where it is said that the truth will set us free.

Fact is, we face many trials and tribulations in life.
Truth is, God is there to walk that road with us.
Fact is, life is sometimes mundane.
Truth is, Jesus said "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

So facts are not truths. We don't change the Truth. The Truth changes us.

Ignorance and Apathy

2009-01-05T09:05:00.003+08:00

From the Presurfer:

Also: Wall-E appearing in Ratatouille?

I received a little joy - my Christmas card from Lubos has finally arrived, all the way from the Czech Republic.

Popsicle Please

2009-01-04T22:25:00.004+08:00

I've been in a highly nostalgic/reflective mood recently, with all the Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009 stuff coming and going around. I realise I have a whole lot of responsibilities that come with age this year, or do I? Maybe I'm starting to take myself a lot more seriously.

2008 has really been a good year, and God has been faithful - I really have seen the fruits of my hard work and I am so humbled. You never fail to amaze me, God.

Being nostalgic, all I want now is a .... popsicle. I miss the times when the popsicle man would drive by my house and I would run out and get a popsicle. Ah, the joys of spending my childhood in Canada. Popsicles, popcorn, gummy bears, embassy suites, magic tricks, pinatas and YTV.

One of my childhood favourites. This and Otter Pops. And more.

God is God

2009-01-04T21:42:00.006+08:00

Love Is Waiting - Brooke Fraser

In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you
don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

-

I was listening to Brooke Fraser's album, Albertine on my iPod on the way home from Singapore Indoor Stadium (where I watched the Singapore Slingers play against RP Harbour Philippines)and this song struck me. Because love isn't about rushing into things, it's all about waiting and trusting God that everything will be made perfect in His time. Coincidentally I've been listening to Judah Smith who preaches with a lot of conviction that people should first take time to grow in God first and foremost, before committing themselves to a relationship. I'll write more about that some time. So friends! Let's not be impatient, or dive into things head/heart-first. Trust in God's plans for your lives :)

A quote I got while listening to John Bevere: "God didn’t create Hell for Man, it was meant to be for the devil". If this same God is in charge of our lives, we don't need to fear or worry.

God is God - Steven Curtis Chapman

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

Hello there, 2009

2009-01-01T22:01:00.005+08:00

Here's year 2008.

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before? A lot of crazy things like Supper at 3 in the morning, two days in a row. And certain things that shouldn't be mentioned here. I've done a whole lot of stuff on my adventures like the F1 Grand Prix pitwalk, chatting with unknown strangers on the street, then having them become my good friends. Going dune-bashing in Dubai, having a dog in my house, getting my chewing gum confiscated at customs. I have an interesting life and I'm glad that so many people make up a huge part of it.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? "Well, I've never really believed in resolutions. I think the end of the year is a time to reflect, see what went wrong, and look towards the next year, how to make it better. Not resolutions, promises that may not be kept. Things that you forget in a week."

I've stuck closely to my life mottos though!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year? Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope.

5. What countries did you visit this year? I went to Malaysia in June and December, Dubai, United Arab Emirates in June! (Dubai is the one of the best places I've been to)

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
Motivation and sheer willpower to study! Also, a group of close friends in my class.

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory - and why?
Probably my birthday (2 May) and mission trip (23-26 December)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Improving drastically in Higher Chinese

9. What was your biggest failure of the year? I'd like to see failures as lessons to learn from. So in the end, they aren't failures but just mistakes that I have learned from. Okay, did that even make sense?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Injuries - countless. Like my Pulau Ubin cycling injury which has left permanent scars on my knee and elbow. Boo. No major illnesses, thank God.

11. What was the best thing you bought this year? The Takamine acoustic guitar.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration (a public or private personality)? Many people in my life have inspired me, who knows, it might be you :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Many la.

14. Where did most of your money go this year? It's the same every year, food, food, food. I spent some on presents for myself too - Takamine Guitar and case!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year? Dubai Dubai Dubai, Lincoln Brewster, MegaLife, Mission Trip, Camp, God

16. What song will always remind you of this year? Baa! We're Lambs and all the songs in Bahasa Melayu

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? I get happier every year.
- richer or poorer? Probably richer, but actually I seriously have no idea.
- thinner or fatter? Fatter, sadly (Time to work it off!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spending more time with God, Studying, Discipling, Working out

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Wasting away my time

20. How did you spend the holidays? Hanging out with my close friends, taking small adventures, urban escapades, catching up with old friends, eating eating eating (a bit more healthily), late night phone calls, dog-walking, movies, interpalling, mission trip.

21. Did you fall in love this year? Fell in love with God over & over again. With people, in the romantic sense, nope. At least not that I know of.

22. How many one-night stands did you have this year? NONE! I'm an angel. Big grin!

23. What was your favorite TV program for the year? Heroes, Grey's Anatomy

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate people actually.

25. What was the best book you read this year? This is one book that can never be beaten - The Bible. It holds so many truths.

26. What was your favorite film of the year? The Dark Knight, no doubt about this one. Batman batman batman. There's Batman everywhere in my room.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year? Evolving to become more feminine but still mostly tee and jeans.

28. Whom did you miss this year? A lot of people - people who are not physically present, people who aren't emotionally present. Aw.

29. Who was the best new person you met this year? I still can't think who's new that I've met. But certain people I've known last year became closer to me, and I'm thankful for them :)

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year. Ah, for these I have a few.

Don't dabble with things that you shouldn't be dabbling with - in other words, don't play with fire, because you're going to get burned.
How you respond to certain situations makes all the difference. It's not about what happened, but how you handle it.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, because He is our victory.
Things aren't that scary if you just take a step.
It is very important to have close friends you can count on in school.

2008 has panned out pretty well for me, I'd have to say it's been a great and very enjoyable year in comparison with 2007. And for that, I'd have to thank those people who have been there, stuck close to me, walked and guided me through.

Personally, I think I've stepped up a lot more in leadership this year, which is something good. Maybe it's what comes with being older. I also managed to survive the crunchtimes without going too crazy - this year I have been optimistic and happy and I'd like to keep it that way. When life threw lemons, stones and rocks at me, I learned to face it bravely with a smile. I'm even getting better at it.

I also realised how much I like to see people grow in character, and it makes investing into their lives so worth it.

At the year end, I'm brought back to my calling - and I'm going to embrace it. Even though it's difficult, I will and I can.

2009.

Hello there. I'm ready, and even though some things are so scary - like what if I don't do well in school, and stuff like that, this year is going to be where I let go, and let God. There's going to be a lot of major shifts and changes to the way I'm going to do things, but I'm game, and I'm waiting.

And as always, I want to make my life count for Jesus :) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here we comeeeeeeeeee!

I am free

2008-12-29T23:14:00.001+08:00

Everything happens for a reason
Every day I'm alive is a blessing from above

I am free, to live.

Take-back from mission trip.

2008-12-28T21:07:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Pahang, Malaysia. I was on my second mission trip and I feel that I've taken back so much.

Christmas 2008 is going down in history as one of the most memorable ones. Let me ask you a question - what did you do on Christmas the year before? Two years before? I can't even answer that.

This Christmas changes everything.

Lesson one: Everyone deserves the right to be loved for who they are, not what they have, or what they look like. And by saying this, I mean everyone. More than two thousand years ago, God sent His son to die for us because He loved us. Today he still loves us the same - each one of us has the same worth in His eyes, despite the economic downturns. We never depreciate in value. I think I've been given yet another wake-up call, even before the trip to never look down on those less fortunate than me. They aren't lesser people. They are human. They are part of my family. We love because He first loved.

Lesson two: This one I've learnt from my teammates. Even though they started puking/diarrhoea and burning up with fevers, they did not utter a single word of complaint and were still joyful. Shawn Tay for example. She goes into the toilet, pukes, then comes out grinning "I feel a lot better". Ryan and Bobcharlie. My teammates demonstrated what it truly means to be more than conquerors

Lesson three: God is in control. No weapon formed against us can remain. Though we were down, not all were down :) And I believe that something has been done when we were in Malaysia.

It has been a meaningful Christmas, spent with some of my closest friends. I have acquired a deep admiration and respect for the villagers who can cook large quantities of good food. (Kids as young as 8 were chopping onions with parangs!) I love the kids there - they appreciate the simple joys in life - paper aeroplanes, colourful balloons, bouncy balls. And the little monyets (monkeys) put a smile on my face.
-
(this song kept me alive on the bus trip back home, as well as talking to God)
There's a reason

There's a reason that the sick can say that You're the Healer
Why the ones who've known great failing find the arms of a Redeemer
There's a reason we can say
That no weapon formed against us can prevail
For our God is good and He will make a way

Chorus1:
Here in the name of the Almighty God
Is our strength and peace; our comfort is
In the face of the eye of the storm
We declare You rule and reign forever

Verse2:
There's a reason that the needy can say You're their Provider
And a reason we believe through every battle we are fighting
There's a reason we will rise
As a city on a hill that cannot hide
We are ruined for all else but Jesus Christ

Chorus1:
Here in the name of the Almighty God
Is our strength and peace; our comfort is
In the face of the eye of the storm
We declare You rule and reign

Chorus2:
Free from all shame and the weight of the world
Every curse of sin is beneath our feet
Through the grace of our Saviour and Lord
We are heirs to rule and reign

Bridge:
Our hope will be the singer, Your Word the song within us
As we believe we know that chains will surely break
Our faith will be the dancer to trample fear and cancer
We'll dance on every lie, injustice, doubt and shame, yeah

Final Chorus1:
Here in the name of the Almighty God
Is our strength and peace; our comfort is
In the face of the eye of the storm
We declare You rule and reign forever

A random update

2008-12-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

Leaving for Malaysia on Tuesday,at 9am in church. Going on a mission trip that I am excited for, though I'm a bit sick now.

Benzi the dog is at my house, somewhere in my kitchen now. He's my mum's friend's dog. I have nothing much to update already, so longgggg.

Shadow & Sunshine

2008-12-16T22:14:00.003+08:00

And time and again, the shadow proves the sunshine. I suppose this is all about trusting and knowing in His character.

One little miracle, could turn it all around. The Shadow Proves The Sunshine :)

Greater things have yet to come

2008-12-16T12:16:00.003+08:00

God Of This City - Chris Tomlin

Finally online after slightly more than a week of absence. Had a great camp - can't describe it here, you'd have to ask me yourselves. I love my cute group, Amore Romeos. Update later. I have 52 emails to read. My gosh. 42 notifications, 6 friend requests on Facebook.

The Web misses me.

Whenever I fall down, you hold me

Amazing Grace

2008-12-06T13:16:00.002+08:00

(Foreverandever Etc. by David Crowder Band)

My life just went through an entire paradigm shift and things are never going to be the same, ho-hum. Why do the shifts always occur in December? Pretty interesting thought...

Your grace has found me just as I am

2008-12-02T21:29:00.002+08:00

Empty handed but alive in your hands :)

From today onwards, I'm going to do this whole tag thing, which I think is refreshing. I went on a get new music spree today and I'm looking to expand my collection. Did an iPod backup with Sharepod yesterday so all my music is safe now. Mission training tomorrow, we are going to learn songs in Bahasa!

Get Fit

2008-12-01T22:21:00.002+08:00

I have to start a fitness regime to whip myself back into shape. Even if that includes torturing myself with horrendous cardio. I've been snacking too much that I'm seeing muscle mass convert into non-muscle mass, which means, fat. And by the way I'm not really fat, but I'm just not used to not having a super low body fat percentage.

Whoooooo. Exercise is good for the body, mind, spirit.

To the people who have been there, thank you.

2008-11-26T22:32:00.005+08:00

I spent the entire afternoon clearing out my room. A dreary, mundane task that I just about managed to complete with my iPod Classic blasting out tunes on random shuffle through my Aztech speakers.

Accompanied by Elvis, boybands, old school tunes, Christian music and the likes, I set about throwing out things that I no longer needed. And doing a lot of organising, packing. In the process, I came across birthday gifts, Christmas cards, old postcards, souvenirs and all sort of knick-knacks. Assignments, action figurines, photographs, letters.

I have an extensive collection of stuffed toys, most of them gifts. Every year I seem to get at least two, and counting... This year I received three.

It's been 16 years and here I am. Every object that I keep, serves as a reminder of who I am and what I've been through. I am sentimental and I do the silliest of things to preserve memories. Packing my room causes me to take a restrospective view of my life and the people who have made me, me.

And so I'm here typing this to thank the people who have been a part of life, big or small. I am pretty sure that everyone who stepped into my life has taught me at least one life lesson. On hope, love, faith, grace, how to relate to people, play games. I really can't say how grateful I am for the people who have believed in me, and encouraged me to bring me to where I am today. People who have helped me walk out of darkness into the light.

To those who have told me off for any character flaws at any time in love, I thank the most. And those who have been beside me during the most trying of times. I love you all.

I think Faith's been taught so many times, in so many situations but I've always thought that my Dad taught me the most, simply through living his life by faith. By believing that his life was mapped out by God's grace, and everything would be alright. It was an everyday fight of faith he was in, and he never ever gave up. He's a victor, and he's my hero :)

To those older than me, who I'm pretty sure have imparted a lot of little life's experiences and warnings to me, thank you.

I'm so glad that God has placed so many people who have made that difference in my life.

Clinging To The Cross

2008-11-23T18:48:00.002+08:00

Still my hope is found in You
I’ll hold on tightly
You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail

Simply to the cross I cling.

Because life's far too precious to rush through. And all you need to do is trust that everything's going to be all right in His time :)

I'm trusting my Jesus for many more things.

Future Possible Study Areas

2008-11-20T22:43:00.002+08:00

Political Science
Psychology
Sociology
Economics

Ha,ha,ha. No Science when I go to Uni.

Blessed.

2008-11-17T23:52:00.001+08:00

We can always hear ourselves or other people complaining just about anything and everything. What we have is oftentimes not enough, and we have an endless list of the things we wish to acquire. But at some point in our lives, did we ever consider how blessed and lucky we are and appreciate the simple and common things we often neglect? Try to contemplate on the following information and feel blessed for the things we have.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and a spare change in a dish someplace, you are the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more good health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week

If you never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the anguish of personal loss and the pangs of hunger, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more blessed than 3 billion people in the world

If you can hold smeone's hand, hug your friend or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you are able to offer healing touch

If you can read this message, you are belssed than over 2 billion people that can't read at all.

FAT FAT FAT

2008-11-17T00:20:00.003+08:00

I feel so fat for eating so much this weekend. I just got back home from supper with the guys who came to my house and then we went to Chomp Chomp and pigged out. Yikes yikes yikes! But good food and good company is always good, right =)

Somehow I still don't think I do justice to my guitar, the way I play sounds awful. Ha, ha, ha.

I had a great night.

Move On

2008-11-14T23:19:00.002+08:00

Because time waits for no man, and what's happened in the past will live there. We hold the present, and God holds the future. And greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done.

Letting go might be tough, but only when you do so you are set free.
Try it. Move on.

I love my new guitar. And I'm going fat from all the pigging out. Buffet at Paris International, Marina Square today and I ate a lot of food.

In two days, I've eaten around half a slab of pork ribs, chicken thigh, beef steak, lamb chop, shisamo fish, smoked salmon, oysters, crocodile meat (in the soup), mussels, shark's fin, Idako octopus. That's a whole lot of meat and I still haven't considered all the other things like baked potatoes, japanese tofu, cakes...

God is Love

2008-11-13T22:39:00.001+08:00

Stumbled Upon this:

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

-

I got myself an early Christmas present, A Takamine D series acoustic guitar :)

Blah

2008-11-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

I am so not supposed to feel the way I am feeling now.

Computer Stupidities

2008-11-09T20:34:00.001+08:00

Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
Customer: "A computer."

Friend: "I heard about this thing called 'Linux'."
Me: "Oh, I use Linux."
Friend: "What is it?"
Me: "An operating system."
Friend: "Like Firefox?"

Oh geeeeeeee, these are so funny

Boring Sunday

2008-11-09T14:41:00.004+08:00

I'm spending a boring sunday at home because my anti-social sister doesn't want to get herself out of the house to watch a movie with me. She hogs my phone 24/7 playing games like Bedrock Bowling, Brick Breaker, Eon the Dragon and Tower Bloxx.

But anyway Shaun's going to be back today!

I'll have a few boring days in school next week. I'll try to avert the boredom as it comes, since they say life is boring as you make it out to be. This week is going to be fun though. I'm looking at a trip to the newly opened Marina Barrage.

Obama Victory

2008-11-08T12:37:00.002+08:00

I know this is late but Obama won.

And I hereby produce this Abraham Lincoln quote:

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

We shall see, in the coming years how he'll handle it!

Yay-ness

2008-11-07T17:29:00.001+08:00

So prom wasn't so bad, despite the fact that I was the victim of a sabotage. Note that I didn't use the word "sabo" (in my attempt to speak good english). This sabotage involved catwalking and answering a question "If you had to pick someone to dance with tonight, who would it be?". My gosh so lame, and I answered it in a lame way.

My make up was a bit odd though. And because of Pityraisis rosea, I had to shawl myself the whole night! Grrrr I hate you pr!

I have a new laptop hooray.

Gah-ness

2008-11-05T19:17:00.003+08:00

I am reluctant to go for prom, period. Bah, because I am so dead, haven't gotten anything ready and I've developed a nasty rash. Gah gah gah gah.

But Joshy made my day, saying that the letter's arrived :)

/edit Oh boo, of all times i get Pityriasis rosea now.

2008-11-02T22:52:00.003+08:00

These few days have been rather hectic and yet eventful in a good way.

On Friday, I joined the rest for an evening of Halloween fun at Wadee's place. Timo and I met up and brisk walked over to meet Simin and later the rest. It was pretty cute seeing all the tiny tots dressed up as Batman, Pirates. Gabriel wore some cape that Simin brought. We collected quite a stash of candy and chocolates from the wonderful and generous expatriates who participated in the event, it was so fun going up to their doors and singing, "trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat"

Had tkcell and met my whole P6 cell on Saturday, and I have to say, they're pretty cool! Missions training today. then I caught up with my uncle and aunt over dinner today (and they stuffed me with all kinds of food and desserts)

Boy just sent us an email saying who else's been selected for KI. Apparently my name's on the list but I'm not going to take up the offer. After all, I went to take the test for fun. I'd be better off in GP, but I'll still embrace my inner thinker in other ways.